Spiritual jokes

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

andyfromtassie's picture

Average: 4.3 (11 votes)

Q. Why did the Chicken cross the road?

A. To get to the other side

Even though we may have heard this joke a thousand times, many of us would miss the spiritual depth of it.

Most of us would assume 'the other side' refers to the other side of the road, but what if 'the other side' refers to the realm after death.



The Bear and the Hunter

andyfromtassie's picture

Average: 4.1 (12 votes)

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, hungry bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.

The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some 'religion!'"

The sky darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said,

"Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive...."



Advaitas Light bulb

andyfromtassie's picture

Average: 3.4 (10 votes)

Q. How many Advaitas does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Two, one to change it and one to give a lecture on how only one was needed.



God and Moses

andyfromtassie's picture

Average: 3.1 (9 votes)

God and Moses were hanging out in Heaven together, then out of nowhere Moses said "Hey God, I really dig heaven, the angels and peace, but I've been up here for thousands of years now and it's getting a little boring. Why don't we go down to earth and have some 'Fun' with the local girls there?"

God looked at Moses very seriously and said "No way, I did that two thousand years ago and they are still talking about it!"



Resolved the question of life and death, eh?

MAI's picture

Average: 4 (4 votes)

When John Daido Loori was a monk at the Los Angeles Zen Center, he remarked one day to Maezumi Roshi: " I have resolved the question of life and death."

"Are you sure?" Maezumi asked.

"Yes,"replied Loori.

"Are you really sure?:

Absolutely," Loori answered.

With that, Maezumi threw himself violently upon Loori and began to strangle him. Gasping for breath, Loori struggled to escape, but to no avail. Finally he swung back his fist and struck his teacher, knocking him aside.

Maezumi rose to his feet and brushed himself off. "Resolved the question of life and death, eh?" he laughed, and walked off.

Later, still bearing the marks of his teacher's fingers on his throat, Loori passed a senior monk, Genpo Sensei.

On seeing the bruises, Genpo did a double take. "Told Roshi you'd resolved the question of life and death, did you?" he said and strode away laughing.

- Sean Murphy from One Bird, One Stone: 108 American Zen Stories

Nonduality Highlights Issue #4910, Sunday, May 5, 2013



Cow

Mr jack's picture

Average: 3.9 (9 votes)

The cow has no conception of what a human is. They are aware but have no understanding of what a human is.
The cow is a lot like a human in that respect.



Making the same mistakes

MAI's picture

Average: 3.7 (6 votes)

A bit of humour:

Don't make the same mistakes twice.
Say NO to re-incarnation.



Zen crossword puzzle

MAI's picture

Average: 3 (11 votes)

FOUND SOMETHING REALLY HILARIOUS
On FB.

Zen crossword puzzle:

Clues:

1.ACROSS-Nothing
1.DOWN-Nothing

From: Tao & Zen-facebook
As posted on the Photos Album:
Nondual Humour



Buddhist Compliment

MAI's picture

Average: 4.2 (5 votes)

The Master: I've never met someone so
thoughtless in my life.
Keep up the good work.

The desciple: Thank you Master

From the Face book page/portal

Tao & Zen-facebook
posted on their photo album:
Nondual Humour



The Yogi and the Pizza

solo's picture

Average: 4.2 (24 votes)

The Yogi walked into the Zen Pizza Parlor and said: “Make me one with everything.” When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said “Don’t I get any change?” The proprietor said, “Change must come from within.”