A Sage

MAI's picture

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Most think it's like being a woo-woo kind of thing...and get a warped impression of what a sage is

Projections !

Even in the stories of this and that
That the mind spinning it's yarn cooks up
There's simply nothing there

Its simply emptiness flowing

It rips you apart
And all the ideas you've held about yourself
It all comes up
And no place left to hide
And you have no choice as you walk through the fire

Gosh I can't tell you how many nights I lay awake in bed all night...asking every existential question ever asked of the universe

I just kept falling...it all just kept happening very organically

I never chased it...only because I didn't have a clue about what the hell was happening!!

Many do not fall all the way...and some of us just wouldn't settle for anything less than nothing

Not that I knew, at the time, that's was it was.. with no thought or even the vaguest idea of getting any place
Or non place

We don't have a choice in any of it

Life does itself

Beautifully so

No matter what it turns up looking like

It simply is as it is

Wide open broken hearts...and the songs begin to sing themselves

None of us were spared you know

That's why I guess we sing...of this

It's ideas all the way
Is even being an empty...a thing?
Is nothing a thing?

The mind wants wrap itself around it
And grasp even nothing

Where there is not even nothing there to grasp
Nor any grasper there

A lifetime falls away

Yet words are who we are

This is far as the bus will go

People want this so bad

And like any other acquisition think this can be acquired too

But I got to tell you something funny

All those decades ago...an elderly aunt who was a devotee thought I was so close to the guru...(when not even a single word had ever been exchanged between us externally)...she thought that if she came for darshan (that's what they called the satsang gatherings) I might get her a personal introduction!!

By which time the whoosh had already happened

And I looked at her and hugged her tight and asked her...how close do you wanna get...like this?

And then I said even if you grasp him to your chest there will still be a distance

And he's closer to you than anything you can imagine yourself getting

If I'd have said another word...she might just have died of shock

When the love reaches it's zenith...one longs for that separation to fall away...it can be agonising

That last desire
The love

Not knowing the love will go too
Along with the you and the other

No one wants to hear this
And there's no one left to enjoy it

That's why it's called an empty prize for no one

And yet a fragrance begins to subsume you

And is commonly referred to as bliss

That quiescence in the middle of the swirling

It never leaves
It didn't come anew

It was always there

Just never noticed