Yearning for the Guru

Gilana's picture

Average: 5 (3 votes)

After meeting my guru and being accepted and initiated as a disciple of all the things that happened one thing seemed to stay and grow: the yearning to be closer, to be recognized, to be received. It was like a mosquito bite that kept itching the more I scratched it.

Tonight something happened...I followed the yearning to it's conclusion and found myself immersed in the living cells of my guru and finally satisfied. (I have had no physical contact with him for a week...a long time since last Satsang for me.)

Who knows about this?

happy together's picture


This is beautiful. I think I know what you mean, had a similar precious relation with my past guru. In my case, when all resistance and doubts and mind games regarding my guru have dropped (and it is natural to have them) I felt myself as part of him, something similar a bit to what I feel in serious romantic relationships but of course without the romantic aspect.

I found out that the yearning to be closer as you call it was actually yearning that all subconscious doubts will vanish, a yearning for the total absolute merging.

It is a wonderful thing. Lucky you. It doesn't matter if your guru deserves this surrender and trust or not, the very merging is the important thing.

I'm curious - could you tell the name of the guru? I value highly your judgement based on what you write here and so I feel this is a good indication about this guru.

happy together | Sun, 11/29/2009 - 11:01
Gilana's picture

My Guru

Thank you for your comments...I am really lucky :) Your question pleases me more than I can say, so here:

My Guru and Master is Bodhisattva Shree Swami Premodaya. If you have interest, more information about him can be found on the website The Bodhi Center (in Los Angeles).

Gilana | Thu, 12/03/2009 - 18:46
samsara's picture

Very well put

Very well put, I can relate to that. who is he btw?

samsara | Mon, 11/30/2009 - 01:18
dan77's picture


What you wrote and the first comment reminded me the lovely post

dan77 | Mon, 11/30/2009 - 02:12
Gilana's picture


How wise of you to see that it is a yearning for subconscious dobts to vanish because what is threatened by that merging other than lingering doubts?

My Master explains discipleship as a "love affair" not in any way metaphorical (but not sexual or flirty). It is truly an affair of the heart, much deeper than a romantic affair of the heart in it's quality of immortality.

Also, what romantic relationship can demand the sacrifice of your self-interest, your ideas of right and wrong, your morals, your history, your future, your beliefs, your charitable actions, your "ways of doing things" and the grounds you base those actions on!...your totality? Don't romantic relationships idealize and encourage these aspects about you (at least for a relatively short amount of time)? Isn't that what makes you "cute"?

Amazing process, this. With gratitude,

Gilana | Thu, 12/03/2009 - 18:49