What I First Had to do to Transform?

farhana's picture

Average: 4 (4 votes)

A year ago, I experienced a meltdown in every area of living. Work, relationship, health, home and spiritually. Those were the darkest moments. As I try to write now of the darkness, all that wants to be expressed are the miracles since.

I am experiencing a Grace in a way that is so powerful, so swift, so subtle and ever so humbling. For without Her Grace, a woman so indescribable, it would be a different life from what I am experiencing right now.

All I feel like in these moments is just to fall on my knees with my being bowed low in front of a Sheer Force. My hands pressed together, my eyes brimming over with things I cannot hold.

The intensity of the Knowing, the Truth that is in front of me, the Mirror that does not lie, the path, the Inevitable, the ignorance that Burns away, the noise that fades away, the moment that remains, that Is, that is filled with PRESENCE.

In HER PRESENCE, in the presence of one who has seen the light of all lights, the Everything that is, the understanding that lifts away layers of confusion and pain from the lives of so many to come.

This moment is a miracle, a knowing that what I have received has already lessened the suffering for me. In being given a new life, I have received from Her Grace. My life today is a work of Grace. The Grace in action is at play, when I am at rest, at work, attending to household duties or when I save for the future.

In humility I open my arms and lower my head to receive all that is possible, to understand what is needed for me to have what I have always wanted. That is the deepest experiences as a woman, as a mother, as a partner, as an accomplished career-woman, as a daughter, as a sister, as a seeker, as a Shishya.

I sit at the feet of Her Grace and bow to receive a Grace that has spared me the suffering that I thought was living; I sit at the feet of a Guru to know what I need to do at each moment; I sit at the feet of a Guru for the rest of my living days; and my being is held in the sweet cradle of HER Embrace, Her Compassion.

This is the beginning of a new understanding. Sitting on the ground in the embrace of HER, wanting to be right at HER feet. The fulfillment of being in HER PRESENCE and allowing the words She speaks to touch me, one-on-one, in a filled room.

Each day leaves me bowing low in Grace for all that is received. To understand a miracle, one must first understand the suffering of a person. The very subtle understanding of what makes up a human being. The complexities that have surrounded me, She has peeled away layer by layer. The patience, the giving, the endlessness of what is being revealed is so because of the very limitlessness of the gift of being given oneself back to oneself.

Oh Your Grace, I bow to you.



“…one-on-one, in a filled room…” refers to PRESENCE with HER GRACE. The next one is in October in Kashid, India. I have listed it under EVENTS for sincere seekers.

madan_gautam's picture

Namaste You are very

You are very fortunate to have grace of HER.
Now just surrender to HER completely.

madan_gautam | Wed, 09/16/2009 - 14:47
nathan's picture

An inspiring story

Who is this HER that you are talking about?

Could you elaborate on the very moments of transition from the darkness you went through to the era of grace.

nathan | Wed, 09/16/2009 - 17:33
farhana's picture


Hi Nathan,

When I've written of HER, I'm referring to a Female, a Being, a Seer, a Knower. It's hard to actually describe because it changes from time to time. What I've heard about Living and the knowledge she has unveiled is really more of a Seer. Someone who has seen all the various shades, the ancient understanding, the present know-how to reduce suffering and a vision of tomorrow, and what it brings. I guess in a term closest to describe a Being like this is a Maharishika.

SHE/Her Grace… answers questions over weekends organized once in a while in Kashid, which is 3 hours outside Bombay city. It's all so organic. I keep a diary of questions which I bring with me over these weekends.

"Could you elaborate on the very moments of transition from darkness you went through to the era of grace?"

This question is interesting because the moment is not like one big series of moments. In engaging transformation, I began to experience things unfolding in the day that would reflect that some change has taken place in me. That some bits of ignorance have been burned away. It's a continual thing. It is many many "wow" moments that happen all the time. And instead of the “wow” moments slowing down in occurrence, they actually happen more and more.

Today, there is a blessing of Grace because I have somewhat surrendered. BUT, I know that the moment I am insincere and slip out of sincerity, it can all go as well in that moment. All that understanding, all that knowing, all that “wow”.

So, what I can say is that the suffering I experience is less. My understanding of what it is has changed. Not just in thinking but in the experience of it.

There isn't an 'era of Grace' as such.

I was in desperate need of Grace 12 months ago. Somehow, I met Her Grace. And she really is the source of that Grace which I am experiencing more and more of today.

The transition is super fast when there is a Powerful Being with the Force of Grace in a seeker’s journey.

It is in the ancient tradition of Guru Shishya. Today, many Seekers surrender to masters who are no longer in their physical form. I had done the same. However, rapid transformation is engaged by this Guru Shishya relationship, which really requires a living master. One who is alive in these times.

farhana | Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:37