Little to no sexual pleasure and arousal after meditation

sepher's picture

Average: 5 (2 votes)

Hi all,
I realize there is a similar topic already, however it somehow feels different enough to create a new one. My difficulty isn't a diminishing libido, something that I did feel some time before the experience I am about to share, but little to no sexual pleasure.

About 6 years ago, I felt an extremely strong outburst of energy flowing from my head down to my lower body during a practice of meditation. At the time, I was in a relationship and that same night I had sex with my partner, had a painful orgasm and ejaculated blood along with semen. The painful orgasms happened again and again a few more times over the following days, even as the blood subsided and disappeared, until I was faced with the difficult decision of telling my partner that I just couldn't have sex anymore.

At the time, I used to write in another forum and asked a couple of people that I regarded highly about this. They replied as if they knew exactly what I was going through, but without being straightforward and honest about it. I heard comments like "you've lost the ability to feel 'joy'" or "it's ok" or "they did that (they?)". I felt deceived and abandoned my meditation and spiritual studies and practice. I felt deceived because I felt that, instead of feeling released from suffering, pleasure and joy was taken away, but not the pain and suffering and because I felt that while transcending any addiction to sex was a good thing, not being able to have sex wasn't transcendence in my mind.

After some time, I managed to have sex without pain again but, since then and 6 years later, pleasure has reduced to almost zero during sex, to the point I have difficulty to have and keep an erection, and even during the orgasm, which are now significantly less intense. In fact, I haven't been able to have an orgasm with anyone for over a year, since my partner broke up with me. At best, I can reach an orgasm during masturbation. I still have sexual desires, just minimal to no pleasure at all.

Sex isn't everything and certainly not what's most important, but has always been important and beautiful to me, like a material reflection of our spiritual search for unity and completeness. Now, the beauty just seems to have disappeared from the act. Not only I can't feel pleasure, but - worse - I feel I cannot give pleasure to whoever I'm with. Embarrassing experiences, one after the other, are increasingly making me feel that I am no longer able to have an intimate relationship with anyone.

Is this 'it'? Is the sensual pleasure gone? I would really appreciate a straightforward and honest answer, even if it's painful truth, in which case at least I can put my mind to rest on this issue once and for all.

Please feel free to answer privately, if you feel it best. Thanks in advance.

sepher's picture


I feel this is also related, that it's not just the sexual pleasure that is gone. I used to take immense pleasure from my professional creative work and now it all feels incredibly dull and empty, making it very hard for me to feel motivated to start new projects and especially to sustain the motivation during longer projects.

sepher | Wed, 12/30/2015 - 13:16
hugo's picture

Have you read the following

Have you read the following article?

I think you are going to find there answers (especially in the comments) to your concerns.

I myself experienced the same phenomenon of reduced urge (not only sexual, the same as you describe) and found out a few years later that many of my drives and urges I had and enjoyed were based on traumas and conditionings that were evaporating as part of my spiritual and personal development.

hugo | Thu, 02/18/2016 - 10:25
sepher's picture

Thanks do taking time to

Thanks do taking time to reply. Very appreciated.

I did read that post, it's the one I refer to in the first paragraph, my mistake for not being more specific. I also read the comments.

With regards to the drives and urges, as I said they're greatly reduced, which greatly affects all activities, from work to the most basic routine activities at home, since pretty much everything feels dull these days. It's not just some things, it's all things. Since I have a creative job, this has a tremendously negative impact.

But what I also wondered was about the feeling of pleasure itself, not so much the drives and urges, and whether all this might be a phase, rather than the end of a process.

I feel less and less motivated as time goes by.

sepher | Mon, 02/22/2016 - 02:07