Half awake

sentient's picture



Average: 4.8 (5 votes)

I feel I'm half awake, I've had at this point a few strong openings in my life. The first was when I saw a drop of water melt off a snow bank and suddenly felt the universe in my heart. Since then I've followed a few teachers, who have been able to take me back to my essential nature for a brief period.

I'm at the point where I'm not chasing it anymore, but I find I'm trying to balance who I am with the world around me. The world seems wonderous on one side and a hell on the other side. As a professional in a career dealing with the workplace stresses and attitudes is very tedious sometimes.

I feel like I need to be at this point right now, it's definately helping me focus more in such a way that doesn't avoid the "practical world". But part of me feels like the world is continually trying to convert me to it's madness and I can get pulled into a private despair.

How are you all managing to balance the inner life with the day-to-day life?



leo's picture

Tacit desire for a peaceful world

Be aware to your tacit desire to have a peaceful world. Watch this desire, it is still another desire. Watch it, accept it and let it go... Then this "practical world" will not bother you anymore...

leo | Mon, 06/09/2008 - 03:07
neo's picture

Worlds colliding

Indeed the "outer world" will try with all its mass power to convert you back to ignorance. The collective mind is so powerful in its influence and the collective ego is so powerful in its cruelty. But they come out of enormous human suffering so be compassionate to them.

A way to balance between the worlds (which are one, but this is another issue) is to apply acceptance: watch your mental reactions to the influences of this "practical world" instead of being identified with these reaction and then trying to resist them.

Actually this "outer world" is the best laboratory to sharpen and polish your acceptance, the best laboratory to witness and accept the mental reactions this world is projecting within your "internal world". You are so blessed to have this "practical world".

neo | Mon, 06/09/2008 - 06:10
mariposa's picture

half awake

"half awake"... it's like saying "half absolute"... I prefer the term "half baked" but anyway these are only words...

mariposa | Mon, 06/09/2008 - 08:32
sentient's picture

thank you

these have been great comments. I've been at a bit of a standstill for over a year now, just trying to tolerate what I used to react to. but yes, i can see my desire for a peaceful world to be that, just a desire. and yes, it's amazing some of the backflips the world seems to do right after I have a profound opening experience. The world will put the right people, places, and things in my path to try to draw me back in.

anyway, i'm starting to feel like it's time to jostle myself a bit.

~darrin

http://www.giggling.org

sentient | Wed, 06/11/2008 - 02:58
eputkonen's picture

“I find I'm trying to

“I find I'm trying to balance who I am with the world around me.”

“The first was when I saw a drop of water melt off a snow bank and suddenly felt the universe in my heart.”

There is a disconnect then...because you have not realized that you are not in the world (and therefore feel you need balance), but you are the world. You felt the universe in your heart...don’t you realize the universe is still in your heart...you are the universe?

“just trying to tolerate what I used to react to.”

Like what? There is no need to tolerate if you fully accept what is.

“How are you all managing to balance the inner life with the day-to-day life?”

I don’t need to manage a balance...for they are not two separate things for me that I need to balance and juggle. They are one and the same.

Namaste,

~ Eric Putkonen
http://www.awaken2life.org

eputkonen | Tue, 06/17/2008 - 14:18