Awakening questions

ajairath's picture

Average: 5 (2 votes)

Hello All,

Something strange has been happening in my body during my meditation sessions. I am not sure what it is - but is so overpowering - and I feel totally lost as to where I currently stand.

Dear Merciful Gurus, Archangels and Ascended masters, Please Please guide me. I am lost without your help.

I have been meditating for last 14 years. (Bhakti and Vipassana). I even quit the world and shifted to a village, because I found calmness and peace in living alone without the useless stresses of the city, so that I could focus on meditations and live a peaceful life. I never sought any of this knowledge ever. Never read about these subjects, did not even know what Kundalini is, never contemplated. I just knew only how to be the lamb of God, and kept spending time on devotional sessions and meditations. I never EVER asked for anything, except for his mercy and grace. I had the least inclination of anything outside of simple pure love for the Lord, and spending quality time with the Lord.

Something strange has been happening in my body for the last 6 months and I am bewildered. Then I started researching and I can relate all the symptoms to the Kundalini. From what it seems, the Kundalini rose, and it rose to the crown chakra. They call it "awakening", but I do not find any realization of any sort or any difference in consciousness or samadhi, but I do feel physical symptoms. A lot of it. I am showered in bliss. Waves and waves of bliss. For hours sometimes. Something near to my bottom keeps on pulsing joyfully all the times, sending waves of joy and bliss up the spine. Then there are sweet pulsings in the frontal area of head, and the top of the fontanelle (the baby's hole on head). The orgasmic tension keeps on building in the head during meditation, until I shoot it off from the fontanelle waves and waves of ecstasy and I can feel some organ pulsing in these 2 places. I feel as if I am wearing a helmet, or like ants on the head sending thrill waves. The whole body gets bathed in a subtle nervous orgasm as this happens. As long as I close my eyes, I am kept bathed in never ending bliss. In fact, whichever body area I put my attention during closed eyes meditation (e.g. Navel, Heart, Throat, Head), sweet tension starts building and adding up and up, and then releases in a spiritual orgasm in that area.

But apart from this, no "truth realizations" or "altered states of consciousness". I mean yes the meditations are sweet and blissful, and I feel I am on drugs of some sort and I don't want to come out of meditation. The waves of bliss do not cease. The pulsings continue at the bottom and in the head, as if they are connected. The currents keep rising from the bottom up the spine. But that's all.

Now, what is this? I am not sure. Is this awakening? Activation? But I don't find anything changed or any mystical experience. Maybe it is a long process. Maybe it's nothing.

I have so many questions. I don't know whom to consult, so thought I may find benevolent masters and guides here who are deeply aware of the phenomenon. Am I on the right journey? Is that the pineal at the fontanelle? Something moves there and shoots fountains of bliss in the air as it orgasms spiritually. Is this all there is to awakening? But Kundalini leads to Nirvana that means "shutting off"? I have never desired anything except Liberation. Is this a long route? I am looking for expert guidance, looking for someone who may have undergone similar process.

How do I need to proceed? Where can I get further help? The way ahead is fraught with serious accomplishments and dangers, and I don't want to cause harm so seeking a guru's help.

I have got into this situtation, of which I have no clue of.

Please masters, help.



nancy pro's picture

Kundalini rising has nothing to do with self realization

Dear AJ,

First, according to your account, you indeed experienced a kundalini rising which is an excellent sign of progress as it indicates that your energetic "pipes" are getting cleared and you are getting blanaced. There are many common symptoms resulting from that experienc, one of them is these waves of bliss that you feel. As you indicated yourself, kundalini rising has nothing to do with self realization or any sort of awakening (I and many of my students and colleagues had many dozens of kundalini rising throughout our life and we are clearly not awaken). This error of attributing kundalini rising with all sorts of spiritual realizations is not accidental but a result of a common and deliberate trivialization of spiritual realization by kundalini yoga people, some do it out of sheer ignorance, some out of sheer greed.

Now, you say that you "never EVER asked for anything, except for his mercy and grace" but according to your account, you did ask for something, something that is clearly evident in your account: you tacitly ask for certainty and familiarity. Your confusion right now is due to the lack of understanding and control regarding something that your are not familiar with and uncertain as to its nature, isn't it so? This experience gracefully confronts you with the uncertain and unfamiliar and the way to cross through is to remind yourself of your trust in his grace instead of trying to inquire and doubt it. Just continue your beautiful spiritual work with confidence and trust as you did before, observe whatever happens to you without judging and always remind yourself of your conviction to honor and accept whatever happens to you in the process even and mainly when things seem uncertain and unfamiliar (we, of course, have no problem feeling so when everything is known, understood and under our control). This is the true meaning of trust in his mercy and grace and what you are going through right now is part of your path, not something external.

Reading and consulting can help but make sure not to add too much intellect, explanations and other mind stuff to the process just because of fear and lack of sense of control. Part of your uniqueness up to now is that you managed to stay away from these mind's distractions and hindrances. Most of us were not that fortunate to be able to have the pure way you adopted.

nancy pro | Sun, 04/05/2015 - 11:20
Nathyogi's picture

Re: Awakening questions

Running away from responsibilities and duties cannot make one progress in spirituality. Practice of truth is a must for mind purification without which God cannot accept one's prayers.
Practice Navatha Bhakti towards your favourite God while carrying out your duites in the society.

Hari Om!

Nathyogi | Fri, 04/17/2015 - 08:15
sonti's picture

What happened with you since then?

It's half a year since you posted this remarkable story, I wonder what happened with you since then. If you are here and willing, please share.

sonti | Mon, 11/02/2015 - 19:12