The Wrath of God

Papalam's picture

Average: 5 (2 votes)

Been a while since i posted... this is one i did about 6 months back... still catching up. nice to read it again.

Last night I was thinking about hoe religions explain or don't explain terrible events like this? How do you explain it? My only answer is, you can't. For many families the most terrible thing has happened to them… Loved ones have been killed… Many with the most terrible of bad luck… If they hadn't taken that bus ride they would be alive… Other's feel the luckiest they've ever been in their life… If they hadn't missed that bus they would be dead now.
Then, the next rung out there are those that have not lost their life, or that of loved ones, but they have lost their home, or their business that they might have worked 10 years to slowly build up… The café, the hairdresser, the mechanic, the video store worker… Many who didn't lose their homes will have lost their jobs… Sole providers now wondering what is in store for their family…
I don't think there is a way to floss this up for these families… Say 'everything happens for a reason', or ' a deeper part of yourself must have wanted this', I also don't agree with 'it was an act of God'… An act? So 'God' one morning decided, ok, I'm going to kill a whole lot of people and ruin countless lives.
So, how, in my religion, do I get my head and heart around all this? I don't think I can. I I don't need to, want to explain WHY it happened. I don't believe there is a why. If 'God' is the supreme reality, I believe that supreme reality is not in anyway human… It is something so much greater as to be completely incomprehensible to the human mind. It's like asking a grain of sand to describe a beach, or one of your 10 billion cells to describe the human immune system. By saying 'act of God' we are humanising 'God'. I understand this process, and all religions seem to do it to some extent, including my own. The concept of Papalam is humanising the supreme, boiling it down into something comprehensible… A supreme creativity that unfolds our reality, with an earth mother flavour to it… A begin I can personally feel… Because, in my religion, I obviously need to feel a personal connection. But that god 'personality' is my creation, my impressionist 'painting' of the supreme, the indescribable. 'I am here for everyone, just in different ways, Anandamurti said to me when I was in my previous religion. At that time he was my supreme God… But what he said rings true to all this. The supreme will take the shape of whatever we desire of it to understand a little more of it.
I'm getting side-tracked here. Why did the earthquake happen?… Why will so many people suffer? In my thoughts, feelings, I can only answer, it just happened. This reality in which we exist is a billion billion times more layered and complex than we can hope to understand. We will never understand it, not with our human minds. It just happened.
One thought that seems to help is, well, it is all still within reality, within Papalam… By dying, or losing everything, still, no one can be cast out of reality… But they are dead! Cast into reality? I don't know. If my daughter had been crushed and killed under a building I'm pretty sure my 'religion' wouldn't be holding me together, wouldn't be stopping the anger, and down the track, the hatred of 'God'… I suppose one goal from this could be, if this religion of mine really is to have the goods, it needs to be able to hold me together, and help me to act from the right place, even in the darkest of events…. The fear of death… Of losing my loved ones… I don't want to get 'beyond' this in some cold, spiritually superior non-detachment kind of way… I've lived enough of that non-detachment bulshit in the past. Ain't for me. I want this religion to give me enough of an understanding of my human experience of reality to be able to face these fears, etc.
The fear of my own death… That will happen, one day. I did a painting around all this lately and freaked myself out… Realising how self-deluded I was in thinking I had no fear of death. I have total fear still of nonexistence… Of losing everything... Of being 'nothing'. I watched both my mother and my grandmother take their last breath. My mother died of cancer pretty suddenly… 3 months form total health to death… I was in the room when Dad said to here, 'you can't hold on anymore, just let go'. She was trying to stay alive for my brother who was on the plane coming over from UK. She opened her eyes, looked at Dad, and just stopped… Stopped breathing… Died. She died with no fear. In the final days and the talks I had with her, she had no fear of the unknown, the nonexistence… A part of here was intrigued. She showed me death could be a natural process… And I thought I too was ok with death… But, having 2 young girls, and my soulmate partner, and friends, family… Things I've done, things I want to do… Nah! Not ready… Still freaked out by the concept. But, let this religion of mine be a pathway to coming to terms with all this… And hopefully I live long enough for that to happen before I do die.
This actually needs to be a fundamental purpose for my religion… To come to terms with my own mortality, and that of all those around me. We will all cease to be, like that ant I just squashed on my desk without even giving a second thought to, just squashed it as an impulse as I saw it tracking across my desk…
I just want to leave it at that for now.
And send my deepest love and thoughts to those that have lost so much.

bonya basu's picture

Your Religion...

I like the way of your realisation...your religion.
This will let you free from other fixed school of thoughts.
Be naurish with yourself.
Due to your very nature of sensitve mind(attachment) are feer of loosing your worldly belongings.
Enjoy the presence of your awareness.
With the expansion of your consciousness...fearness will go away.

Nice to are sincere to yourself.

bonya basu | Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:19
Papalam's picture


yup, you are right... fear of loss of 'things' is a big one for me. and i agree... awareness dissolves fearness. but i also feel fearness is just an egoic standpoint of reality, and ego is a naturtal part of our journey, of being human... so fear ain't a bady... it just is part of it all. in my view... fear!! fear!!! it's a bady!!! ego!!! etc, etc... then you become scared of fear!!!! or sacred of ego!!!! a double trap!!!

Papalam | Thu, 12/08/2011 - 18:26
bonya basu's picture

Just sharing my thoughts with my friends in a same boat!!!!

Dear friend....i agree with you that fear...ego is a part of our human journey.

There was a time when i used to fear of loosing even small thing...these all were attachment...but today it is my personal experience that more i'm in awareness...i'm less with my fears. Although i'm not saying i get rid of all fears.My attchments are still there.

If you momentarily forget your bodily will find that you are not are pure conscious...that exists in every where and in each being.
You will not feel others.All are one.Just realize this blissful moment...that will expand your consciousness....when you realize that consciousness...then where is the feeling of loosing anything.Slowly you will be in practice of living in self consciousness rather than living in limited bodily consciousness.

I hope i am not advising you anything...just sharing my thoughts...may not be acceptable to you...because i conceived this as way of my religion...for my journey.

Enjoy your religion...that is the best way of freeing yourself...i do have a full respect for your sincere thoughts.

bonya basu | Fri, 12/09/2011 - 12:03
Papalam's picture


yes, i really like your thoughts.... yes... awareness.... the simple answer to so much hassle! awareness... in all possible situations in our lives. simply breathe and be aware, as part of it all... not as a separate 'me' judging it all.

that is a medicine I want to really develop... it is natural human medicine... natural Human Being! thanks for sharing.

Papalam | Fri, 12/09/2011 - 23:36
Asanga's picture

Really wonderful...

You have a gift of articulating your musings so lucidly. Thank you for your wise words... Some people here take it upon themselves to become advisers and sound so condescending!
I am, yet I am not...

Asanga | Thu, 12/08/2011 - 15:20
Papalam's picture


thanks! yes... i think we all want to advise... myself included! i'm advising you that we all want to advise :-)

Papalam | Thu, 12/08/2011 - 18:22