Wisdom of Folly: Mulla Nasruddin

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1.
A rich farmer had been trying desperately to marry off his daughters. One day he met Mulla Nasrudin. "I have several daughters," the farmer told the Mulla. "I would like to see them comfortably fixed. And I will say this, they won't go to their husbands without a little bit in the bank, either. The youngest one is twenty-three and she will take Rupees 25,000 with her. The next one is thirty-two, and she will take Rupees 50,000 with her. Another is forty-three and she will take Rupees 75,000 with her." "That's interesting," said Nasrudin. "I was just wondering if you have one about fifty years old."

2.
Mulla Nasrudin's family was upset because the girl he was planning to marry was an atheist. "We'll not have you marrying an atheist," his mother said. "What can I do? I love her," the young Nasrudin said. "Well," said his mother, "if she loves you, she will do anything you ask. You should talk religion to her. If you are persistent, you can win her over." Several weeks went by, then one morning at breakfast the young Mulla seemed absolutely brokenhearted. "What's the matter?" his mother asked. "I thought you were making such good progress in your talks about religion to your young girlfriend." "THAT'S THE TROUBLE," said Nasrudin. I OVER DID IT. LAST NIGHT SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS SO CONVINCED THAT SHE IS GOING TO STUDY TO BE A NUN."

3.
The young lady's hopes had been high for two years while Mulla Nasrudin remained silent on the question of marriage. Then one evening he said to her, "I had a most unusual dream last night. I dreamed that I asked to marry you. I wonder what that means." "THAT MEANS," said his girlfriend, "THAT YOU HAVE MORE SENSE ASLEEP THAN YOU HAVE AWAKE."

4.
Mulla Nasrudin had been calling on his girlfriend for over a year. One evening the girl's father stopped him as he was leaving and asked, "Look here, young man, you have been seeing my daughter for a year now, and I would like to know whether your intentions are honorable or dishonorable?" Nasrudin's face lit up. "DO YOU MEAN TO SAY, SIR," he said, "THAT I HAVE A CHOICE?"

5.
Mulla Nasrudin's mother, worrying about her son's safety, said to him: "Didn't I say you should not let that girl come over to your room last night? You know how things like that worry me." "But I didn't invite her to my room," said Nasrudin. "I went over to her room. NOW YOU CAN LET HER MOTHER DO THE WORRYING."

6.
"Well, young man, I understand you want to become my son-in-law," said the father to his daughter's boyfriend, Mulla Nasrudin. "NO, SIR, NOT EXACTLY," replied Nasrudin. "BUT IF I MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER, I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN GET OUT OF IT."

7.
Mulla Nasrudin was talking to a friend about his recently broken romance. "Do you mean," asked the friend, "that at her request, you gave up drinking, and smoking, and gambling, and dancing, and playing pool?" "Yes, just because she insisted," said the Mulla. "Then why didn't you marry her?" the fellow asked. "WELL, AFTER ALL THAT REFORMING," said Nasrudin, "I DECIDED I COULD DO BETTER."

8.
A girlfriend at a cocktail party said to Mulla Nasrudin, "I keep hearing you use the word 'idiot;' I hope you are not referring to me." "DON'T BE SO CONCEITED," said the Mulla. "AS IF THERE WERE NO OTHER IDIOTS IN THE WORLD!"

9.
Mulla Nasrudin sat fishing in a bucket of water. A visitor, wishing to be friendly, asked, "How many have you caught?" "YOU ARE THE NINTH," said Nasrudin.

10.
The young lady became angry with her boyfriend, Mulla Nasrudin, and said, "You are a perfect dope!" "DON'T TRY FLATTERY," said Nasrudin. "NONE OF US IS PERFECT!"

11.
One night, Mulla Nasrudin's father noticed a light in his barn. He went to see what it was all about and he found Nasrudin with a lantern, all dressed up. "What are you doing all dressed up and with that lantern?" asked his father. "I am going to call on my girlfriend, Dad," said Nasrudin. "I have got to go through the woods and it is dark." "When I was your age calling on my wife for the first time," said the father, "I went through the woods without a lantern." "I KNOW," said Nasrudin, "BUT LOOK WHAT YOU GOT, DAD!"

12.
"Darling," said the young woman,"I could die for your sake." "YOU ARE ALWAYS PROMISING THAT," said Mulla Nasrudin, "BUT YOU NEVER DO IT."

13.
Mulla Nasrudin, who was really unaccustomed to public speaking, arose in confusion after dinner and muttered hesitatingly: "M-m-my f-f-friends, when I came here tonight only God and myself knew what I was about to say to you AND NOW ONLY GOD KNOWS!

14.
After the bride's first dinner, she asked her husband, Mulla Nasrudin, "Now, dear, what will I get if I cook a dinner like that for you everyday?" "MY LIFE INSURANCE," said Nasrudin.

15.
Mulla Nasrudin's young wife, recently returned from her honeymoon, was complaining to her friend about her husband's drinking habits. "If you knew he drank, why did you marry him?" her friend asked. "I DID NOT KNOW HE DRANK," said Nasrudin's wife, "UNTIL ONE NIGHT HE CAME HOME SOBER."

16.
Mulla Nasrudin, who had just passed his test for his first-aid certificate, was on his way home. Suddenly, he saw a man lying face down in the street. Without a second thought, he threw himself upon the man and began applying artificial respiration. After a while, the man raised his head and said, "SIR, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO, BUT I AM TRYING TO FISH A WIRE DOWN THIS MANHOLE."

17.
Mulla Nasrudin was drunk and at a football game was making such a nuisance of himself that the people around him threatened to call the police if he didn't sit down and shut up. At that he shouted, "show me a policeman, and I will show you a dope." The words were no sooner spoken when a big six-foot policeman arrived on the scene and said: "I am a policeman." "WONDERFUL!" said Nasrudin. "I AM A DOPE!"

18.
The lady contributed to Mulla Nasrudin on crutches, but could not resist the temptation to preach to him. "It must be terrible to be lame," she said, "but think how much worse it is to be blind." "That's right, Lady," said the Mulla. "WHEN I WAS BLIND, PEOPLE KEPT PASSING COUNTERFEIT MONEY OFF ON ME."

19.
The young father was pushing the crying baby down the street with what appeared to be absolute calm and self-assurance. People on the street could hear what he was saying as he passed. "Take it easy, Nasrudin," he said. "Don't let it get you down, Nasrudin, you will soon be safe back home. Things will be all right, Nasrudin, if you just keep calm." One motherly type woman waiting for a bus, heard and saw the young father and said to him, "I think you are wonderful the way you are taking care of the baby." Then she leaned over to the baby and said, "Now, don't cry, Nasrudin, everything is going to be all right." "LADY," said the father, "YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG. HIS NAME IS TOMMY -- I AM NASRUDIN."

20.
"I don't guess I have anything to complain about," said the mussed up young man, Mulla Nasrudin, as he listened to another mussed up young man describe his ejection from a dance hall. "They treated me all right." "What do you mean, treated you all right," said the other young man. "They threw you out, didn't they?" "Yes," said Nasrudin, "They threw me out the back door, but when I told the bouncer that my family was in the social register, he picked me up gently, brushed me off, and escorted me back into the dance hall. THEN HE THREW ME OUT THE FRONT DOOR."