Was I "in love"with my guru?!

hmmm's picture

Average: 5 (3 votes)

I was treated like some kind of disgraceful prostitute,condemned,critised,threatened and ostracized,by other members of my spiritual family,because it seemed,by my behaviour that I was in love with my guru!
Well,all these years later,I feel like answering my accusors!Was I in love with my spiritual master?
YES!!!Absolutely and utterly,with every atom of my being I loved and adored him and felt myself dissolving whenever I was in his prescence!
I loved his words,his teachings,his demeanour,his humour,his seriousness,his devotion,his dancing and other-worldly gracefulness.
I loved the seemingly fathomless depths of love,compassion and tenderness in those wonderful huge dark,dark scorpio eyes whenever he gazed at us.Never judgemental,just smiling gently,lovingly at the soul within each and every one of us.

I loved his tolerance and patience with people-a trait Im sadly lacking in,myself!I loved his courage,his boundary pushing visions,his unity-in-diversity understanding of the worlds religions and beliefs!
He also happened to be physically beautiful,as well,and apparently I wasnt supposed to notice that and Im a very naughty girl!!

Well,folks,I am but human!I enjoyed writing this-finally, I have confessed to my terrible crime!

rahul23374's picture

its good to pour out your heart

As my guruji always says its good to clear up all the clogged up emotions,fears as it leads to clear conscience and empties the space to fill in with new joy and happiness, but it is required to make an conscious effort to fill the mind up with gods name and good experiences and not allow the mind to go to others fault and shortcomings otherwise unknowingly you will imbibe all those defects. Wish you love and joy on your divine journey. Also we enjoyed your reading
Rahul K Pathak

rahul23374 | Mon, 12/28/2009 - 18:23
robert's picture

Sweet u r! :-)

Was he aware of you being in love with him? Did he try to talk to you about this? Where is he in all this (apart of being the object of your love)?

robert | Mon, 12/28/2009 - 18:30
Asanga's picture

It is a natural thing...

Beloved Hmmm,
Your sincere 'confession' is absolutely not out of place!
There are so many forms of love- which can manifest with one's spiritual master...
Some see the Guru as perfection manifested, some as an avatar of God, some as a passionate lover, others as a beloved child, and still others as an embodiment of wisdom and knowledge...
In the presence of the Master, the true devotee often loses all sense of propriety... and often does things without rationalising, which might seem quite embarrassing in afterthought, when the devotee is out of that 'magical' moment...
Often, one of the first things that most people begin doing is 'imitating' and mirroring the Guru's actions, tone, and even dress and physical actions...
Falling in love with one's Guru and even desiring physical contact is thus not out of place at all, and it speaks volumes about the ignorance and insensitivity of your 'oh- so- spiritual fellow seekers'...
I am, yet I am not...

Asanga | Mon, 12/28/2009 - 18:40
jasdir singh jaura's picture


Seeking is not so easy, as people think,
Seeking is not a child play,

jasdir singh jaura | Thu, 08/26/2010 - 05:57