True Spirituality

joejo's picture



Average: 5 (2 votes)

When I look back I see that my perceptions about what is true spirituality have changed and changed drastically to such an extent that I am not sure if I go back to my understanding of yesteryear would I have ever recognised what I know today even if it was God himself who had told me so.

I want to examine the approaches I took and what changed over the years. To begin with I already had "Ideas" about the way to God as I was a keen listener to what my Dad told me or what he read which included Ramakrishna Paramhansa. The only thing was that I had this pretty confident feeling that I knew things for sure and could place Sages and Saints on the way, to a degree of accuracy, which could only be parallel by a fully realised saint.

Yet when I did start in earnest at 21 to find out for myself the truth about the matter, for I felt then that this was my true calling, things turned out to be different, though this was not perceived by me then. I wanted to be a monk but since I conceived of myself as a practical man, wanted to have some realisations before I said my farewell to the life as a layman in society.

The first books that I devoured were from Swami Vevekananda. I was from birth attached to the monkey God Hanuman though my "Intellect" always revolted against an Idea of God with a Particular form or confined to a myth. My mind resolved this contradiction like many others by creating a division in what I thought on one hand & my intuitive (feelings) perceptions on the other.

I soon took to Jiddu Krishnamurti as he seemed to agree with my intellectual pride but alongside the search of Guru remained . I became associated with Ramamakrisna mission and had even greater longing for the Divine life Society though I did not have physical contact with it except a brief one.

My devoted reading and contemplation of Krishnamurti did have an emotional content but it was nowhere as strong as my "instinctual" love for Hanuman and search for a Guru. I met many people but was impressed in an extraordinary way by YogiRamsuratkumar and Maa of Neebkarori Ashram, who I meet to this day.

It was Maa who mysteriously & covertly supported my journey though it was not lost to me. My endearing love affair with journey of self discovery through enquiry deepened for it was here that my heart and intellect merged. Yet it was not the same proud confident and assertive all knowing one but a transformed intellect, not in small measure to the trails and tribulations of the journey.

Today I am sure that all that my Intellect knows is not the Truth but for the Knowing-Feeling of "I". I am familiar and "See" the rise and change of my many i.



bonya basu's picture

Thanks!!!!

Thanks for sharing!
I enjoyed your journey of spirituality.
I think it happens with everyone.
We are evolving through awareness...through our spiritual journey of this life and future lives.

" External circumtances regularly change...quickly.
You must consider however that the most intimate
essence of man is unchanged over a time.
Give what you have to grow."

bonya basu | Tue, 11/15/2011 - 07:08