the tears begin

Nancy Neithercut's picture

Average: 5 (3 votes)

darkness bleeds through you
as you look for the light
this ache for the dawn
carries your feet across the desert
under the stars
glistening sands
footprints gently erased
by hot winds
or is it your breath
your footprints
this starlight
you long for?

that last signpost
has toppled
that last treasure map
folded and unfolded countless times
crumbled in your hands
these very words
sear a knowing in your heart...
nothing has been lost
nothing has been gained
there was never anything to attain
walking in circles seemed to incise your name
in the desert dream
pulling the noose tighter and tighter
you have always danced
between light and darkness
between knowing and unknowing
between love and this edgeless-ness where you do not exist

all the love you longed for
is knowing
there is no where to go...
no one who wanders...
that this beautiful longing you wished to escape
paints your silhouette with starlight
without it
you are not

and when you walk through love’s door
you see your own face
weeping and smiling
and saying
I love you
and you realize you never left
the small shoot
the tiny bud
the flower and it’s wilting
all those tears…
were always love
recognizing itself
through your beautiful beautiful eyes

how many nights did I lay on a bed of nails
my bones my blood my heart breaking
crying out
howling at the moon
I could not see
or hear
waiting for an echo
a sign of someone
that could fill in the brokenness

...waiting for dawn
for at least a shadow
a glimmer
of someone who still wandered the earth
of someone who had solidity
of a someone who could gather the day

...waiting for the night to end
wondering if it would?
I did not know I was losing my world
mourning my own demise
I could not end the deep deep sorrow
and heightened terror
nor did I try…

as I lay my head in the darkness
I fell through the pillow
and the bed
and the floor
and the ground
I fell through my own shadow
shards of night pierced my reflection
erasing all light
I heard my echo in the deepest darkest agony

when the tears are over
the tears begin

MAI's picture

The tears begin

Utterly sublime
Aahhhh...the tears begin

Beautiful you Nancy!

The piercing clarity of your songs
Is the brilliant blinding light of an empty mirror singing

Monica Dayakar

MAI | Sun, 10/07/2018 - 00:12
Nancy Neithercut | Sun, 10/07/2018 - 11:50
MAI's picture

Love overflowing

I love you Nancy

Monica Dayakar

MAI | Sat, 10/13/2018 - 22:56
MAI's picture

Simply beautiful

Oh my!!

Beautiful song
Beautiful you

Thank you

Monica Dayakar

MAI | Sat, 10/13/2018 - 23:08
Nancy Neithercut's picture


Beautiful beautiful you

Nancy Neithercut | Sun, 10/14/2018 - 22:05