A Strange Coming Home

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There's a kind of hush

The hum of life

It's always on

She was dearly beloved !

I simply called her "Aunty"

And the only one I had and could to speak to about the awakening

We walked with each other
As we fell through ourselves

She walked with me and talked with me... even when she didn't quite get what I was speaking about

She'd had glimpses so there was a recognition of her own heart song... and her questions kept me grounded... when I was falling

I'd have walked into the sunset if it hadn't been for her

Instead I found myself walking back into the dream as the dream... wherefrom I'd never left

Surprisingly... I have never felt any sense of loss... even as she's long gone now

That fullness
Is me
Even as the emptiness
Is she

Who me
Who she

It was a coming into Tao

Sometimes gentle... sometimes not so gentle

Like that click of those balancing rocks when they fall into place

A return to innocence
Which had never really left

But yes... it is a loss of everything
Even love

Yet this love


It's intuited unicity

We were mirrors of each other
Mirrors of our own love and emptiness

The light dancing in between

It was a right of passage

I reflected back to her the emptiness

And she was reflecting the fullness back to me

We were mirroring each other's emptiness and fullness

Specially towards the end... mid 2011

The fullness was coming gushing in here... and my heart was sinking... knowing I'd never left the dream

And she was coming face to face with her own emptiness

It was gut wrenching and devastating for both of us

And yet it had a searing fierce beauty

It was a quiet love that had come into it's own

Coming full circle and smacking itself in a kiss most sublime

Wonderful how lives are intertwined in all our stories

She was my story

As I was hers


I visited her late April of 2011... a few months before she passed away

We hardly spoke for those couple of days that I was with her

I'd sit by her bedside holding her frail hand in mine

Even as the round-the-clock nurses
Went in and out of the room
Doing their thing

There really was nothing left to say

We'd look into each others' eyes
Even as a sublime melancholy descended

There was a strange coming home
To this
Where we'd never left

And a peace beyond description

There were no separate things... objects

There simply were none

Even to be separate or not

It's a total melt down

Left me feeling strangely complete... or whole... and any words I could use would fall short by a million miles

There was no one to have been broken

Nor had ever been

It was an utter collapse and relief incomparable

What once looked liked sitting on a knife's edge... now feels like dancing on a feather

The emptiness and the fullness

I can no more tell where one begins and the other ends

And these songs sing themselves

A songbird
Cooing in the woods