Step Into The Light-Pt.1

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Sitting quietly by myself, contemplative, pensive, there’s a lot of stuff, that emerges from the depths of my soul.
Some positive, some negative.
Some stuff, that I sometimes put off looking at. Maybe because I’m either not ready for it, or am just being lazy, about the inner work involved in dealing with it.
I even convinced myself that I wasn’t out to be some sort of a perfect creature, so what’s the point ?
Till recently I realized, that, that was the point…!!!
To be able to accept myself completely, warts and all, to intergrate “myself” with my “Self”,to intergrate and assimilate those aspects of myself that I either deny or am just plain unconscious about.
In other words, make Whole, make Holy.To Heal.
Nothing religious about it.
Just a complete acceptance of the self.
The duality of myself.
I have been shown the Self, that which lies beyond the split of myself from the other.By sheer grace.
Nothing hidden….all out in the open…laid bare…The naked truth.
The fear caused by the separation, has faded.
I can either sit in that ivory tower of that Knowingness,
or flow with the the tide of whatever it is,that comes up for perusal.
Now the unconscious has started coming to the surface.
And I am face to face, with myself.
With my own shadow.
Ready and willing to go through a process that can at times be really uncomfortable as well as excrutiatingly painful. But nevertheless ready.
Ready to step into the light.
It might take the rest of my life, I don’t know.
Yet I’m grateful that this process is happening.

As this process unfolds I started reading up on
Shadow Work.
Here are some helpful pointers, garnered from the net.
Shadow Work :

Shadow Work is a way to bring your true self out of shadow and into the light.

As you may know, the shadow is a mental complex defined by Carl Jung as all those parts of the personality rejected by the ego. Briefly, Jung defines the ego as the focal point of consciousness. So, generally, all those characteristics, feelings, urges, or tendencies that any of us vehemently denies -- generally with moral indignation -- as being contained within us, usually comprises parts of the shadow complex. A shadow can be "negative"/"dark" or "positive"/"light". We can deny that we possess qualities we find abhorrent or otherwise objectionable ("negative") as well as qualities we envy, long for, or admire ("positive").

When we are born, our mental state is one of total unconsciousness where all our perceptual and behavioral potential exists in a kind of chaos, i.e., the psyche is undifferentiated. The Latin term for this chaotic state of mind is massa confusa, literally "confused mass." This undifferentiated state may be represented symbolically by the number 1 (one). In other words, the number 1, as an archetype, can be understood to characterize our chaotic, undifferentiated, homogeneous psyche or mental state at birth and throughout early infancy.

Within a year or two after birth, we become aware of ourselves, as if the light of consciousness emerges out of the dark chaos or massa confusa (also known as the prima materia); in other words, the ego is born out of the maternal unconscious. We begin to perceive ourselves as separate from our caretakers and explore the outer world. At this point, the mental state may be said to be split between a vast, still chaotic unconscious and a germinating consciousness. As an archetype, the number 2 can symbolize the condition where consciousness becomes separated out of the unconscious. The Judeo-Christian creation myth - among many others -- images this split as the separation of the void into heaven and earth.

During the inner state of 2-ness, the outer world is also split into two parts: right/good and wrong/bad. We are taught that certain acts are judged "right" or "good" and are associated with praise and reward; other -- usually opposite -- acts are considered "wrong" or "bad" and are associated with disparagement and punishment. As youths we tend to repress impulses that people around us dislike in order to gain the love, support, and security we need to survive.

For example, we may be taught that it is "right" and "good" to be attentive and considerate of other people's feelings. At the same time, to denigrate, disregard and be cold to others' feelings is "wrong" and "bad." We learn what our caretakers' like from their agreeable reactions to us, such as smiling, nodding, and other bodily, as well as verbal expressions of approval and explicit rewards. Disapproval is communicated by such forms of censure as frowning, head shaking, admonitions, and all forms of punishment.

In time we learn to bury impulses that we have been trained to regard as wrong/bad. With such training, there are at least three probable unconscious consequences as we continue developing. Firstly, we are likely to grow up deeply despising or feeling disgusted by someone whom we judge to be cold, self-centered or inconsiderate (i.e., having the qualities that we were taught were "bad"). Confronting such a person sets up a kind of sympathetic vibration in our unconscious psyche leading to a conscious reaction of rejection, because we have learned that the behavior is not acceptable. Meanwhile, we repress any reactions of that nature within ourselves. That leads us to the second outcome: when we ourselves behave inconsiderately toward someone, we do not recognize it as such (because the act directly arises from the unconscious itself), and if anyone accused us of being cold, we would vehemently deny it. Anger at an accuser or at someone we perceive to have an undesirable personality characteristic is a good clue that the shadow complex has been "touched." The third outcome draws on the second, in that we are very likely to react to the person into whom we project the shadow quality with that shadow quality.