Stealing Mantras from God!

Papalam's picture



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Part of this religion/spirituality of mine is chanting/singing a mantra that I have created… Papalam is the base word and really feels like a gift from, well Papalam to me, via my creativity, which is an expression of Papalam.
For me, Papalam means…. The creative essence of reality, that is the basis of existence, mixed with earth-mother/ papatuanuku concept, along with a bit of supreme consciousness / sky Father / Ranginui chucked in… Gives me a super reality, but also a personal 'God', someone I can get my human head around, conceptualise… Papalam is the supreme existence principal, with a local planet earthness creativity 'persona'. In a way, she has a 'light bulb' skin of earth mother personality (see yesterday's blog on the light bulb theory). Her 'colours', in my mind, are rich pounamu (nephrite jade from NZ) green… And her creative uniqueness is what evolves life on Earth in the way it is, which I am sure will be slightly different to anywhere else in the universe due to our unique Papalam!
I started just toning Papalam… Then started building bigger mantra, stealing sanskrit words from my earlier faiths… Words/feelings that still have meaning to me… Ananda marga uses baba nam kevalam, which is a beautiful mantra…. Baba is their guru, and Baba nam kevalam means 'only the name of baba', or baba is all there is… And the guru is supreme consciousness for a margi, so they are saying supreme consciousness is all there is… So I have borrowed 'kevalam' = only, is only…
We get Papalam Kevalam… There is only Papalam…. I love how the Lam (root sound of the Earth element and your base charka) is in both words… Papa and lam sync together so powerfully for me… With the maori Earth Mother, Papatuanuku, energy (which is ancestral for me, so powered up further) anchored strongly, earthed further with Lam…
Then Kevalam, is only… Gives a further ideation to it… There is only Papalam… Only Papalam. This is true! Papalam is all creation, including me, including my thoughts… Including the air particles inside my lungs…
It is a really powerful ideation for me… Stronger than any other I've tried in my life journey… And it feels so much more powerful as it was given, via my creativity.
I understand members of ananda marga will be upset I have taken part of baba nam kevalam. My answer, is… It feels ok to me. This is my religion, I am not trying to sell it to others… If I am selling anything, it is the concept of making your own religion… Spiritual creativity.
Also, when I was a full blown margii I had one of the biggest spiritual experiences of my life… The guru ( Baba) had died a year before I joined the marg, and I always lamented the fact I could never get PC (personal contact)… One night I had a dream… (even writing about it now gives me shivers!) a group of us were in India, then a really angry, seriously pissed off Baba stormed into the room… He yelled at us all to do sastam pranam (lie down in comp[lete surrender) which we all did instantly… Because baba was our supreme God, and it was like the universe was bellowing at us… Then, in that cool dream way, it was just me and Baba… And his voice was soft, loving… 'you do it properly, my boy' and he got me to point my toes… Then he left and I followed him into a room. He was on a slightly raised platform and I sat in front of him, so close our knees were almost touching. Now, Baba wore huge, thick glasses when he was alive, but in my dream he had no glasses… And his eyes were locked on me… He was speaking, issuing mantras, and wisdom… But I couldn't absorb anything, he was like the sun, a super nova, and his radiance was blasting away all of me… I could not think… I was only a point of consciousness, awareness… Witnessing my God in full swing. Then he reached forward and lightly touched the top of my head and said mantras (it was so real, even after waking, and I can still feel that light sensation of touch)... Then he kept speaking and the one part I can remember, just before waking was baba saying 'I am here for everyone, just in different ways'. I cried in bliss in my campervan in Napier in winter… My God had spoken.
Now, nearly 20 years later, and I am not a margii anymore, but I still see that as a fundamental moment for me… Baba was my supreme God at the time, so it was the Supreme laying down the lore for me… God is here for everyone, in the way they most deeply desire… Interestingly, from then on, my steady movement away from ananda marga began… Baba had spoken my life path… To seek the commonness of humanity, existence, religion… That which makes us the same, instead of that which makes us different…. And, with this new religion, that experience has a whole new power and context for me… If God is here for everyone, in unique ways… Then I can trust in the process of creating/discovering my own personal concept of God… And what ever concept I form, no matter how many times I change it, evolve it… 'God' will always be there for me… And currently that is Papalam… In a long winded way, answering to grump Margi's who say I'm stealing… I answer' well, it's all Baba's fault! He told me it was ok!!'
So… Papalam Kevalam…. I am a muso, and wrote a lot of kiirtan chants when I was a margii, and I've been using some of my old tunes with powerful success….
Hmmm…. Time for breakfast…. I'll continue this later as still have to bring in another few base sanskrit words I've stolen from another faith!! Naughty naughty me!!!
Papalam Kevalam!!!!



bonya basu's picture

Interesting!!!!!

I'm reading your posts from very begining....and find quite interesting the way you are writing...i was waiting for the climax...today after reading your dream it really shivers my body!!!!

It is more interesting when we are reading it post by post!!
We really wait for the next post!!!

God bless you!

bonya basu | Mon, 10/31/2011 - 14:04
hjame80's picture

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hjame80 | Thu, 11/03/2011 - 12:49