a spiritual journey

bethj1254's picture

Average: 4.7 (3 votes)

30 years ago I developed a mental blockage. As a toddler I got a virus and was sick vomiting. I remember it like it was yesterday. My mom got very upset with me because I didn't get to bathroom in time and I was scolded. I can say that about age 7/8 I started noticing I was different than my peers. I would get anxiety often and couldn't understand why or what made me feel so upset. I lived with this all through school. It had a profound effect on me still to this day. In my mid 20's I delved into psychology. I've been to at least 20 psychologist, and a few therapist. Even a hypnotist. I found out that our brains are just being programmed at a toddlers age. My brain had programmed that if I or anyone else ever got sick, then I would be in trouble. Logistically, I KNOW that no one is going to get in trouble for being sick. But I've never been able to turn it off. Lots of antidepressants and other meds later, I'm only putting a bandaid on a major wound. I have researched this, its called emetophobia. I have sought anything that can relieve me from the everyday struggle that haunts me. I have been researching religions and spirituality for about 2 years. Meditation, and lucid dreaming as well. I can't shake it. Yes I would say I suffer from this daily. Have only learned some small management practice's. But it's always there... it is the root of my fears I am unsuccessful at over coming. Is this a scar on my soul for life? Is there any hope for me seeking so deep to try to undo the damage? My life needs improvement in many areas, but if I could just get a grip on this nonsense phobia, my quality of life will improve. Is it possible to let go of something that has kept me from living a truly fulfilling life that has control of me?

sribonatar's picture

Amazing, I had a similar thing

Amazing, I had a very similar thing throughout my life. Tried most of the things you mention to no avail. I was really desperate.

What finally eradicated this conditioning to some significant extent and eased the suffering was Ayahuasca. I can say that Vipassana also helped to some small extent but the effect was marginal comparing to Ayahuasca.

sribonatar | Thu, 05/09/2013 - 15:20
Asanga's picture

Learn Sudarshan Kriya

Go to an Art of Living programme and learn Sudarshan Kriya.

I am, yet I am not...

Asanga | Thu, 05/09/2013 - 16:49