So painful it is to be becoming enlightened - a true story

nancy pro's picture

Average: 4.7 (18 votes)

So painful it is to be becoming enlightened.

Note that it's not painful to be enlightened, it's painful to become enlightened. When you are enlightened, there is still pain but there is no you anymore to experience that pain. Three is still pain but it is not painful.

It's painful to be becoming enlightened. On these very ultimate steps upon enlightenment, it is extremely painful there.

As you get to see things more and more as they are, you become more and more lonely.

Less and less people can see what you see, they see from behind the glasses of conditioning. You were blessed to be freed from these glasses.

Why then it is painful?

It is painful because you see the truth beyond the filtering and distortions of conditioning. You see the self righteousness, you see the hypocrisy, you see the excuses and the victim playing, you see the small lies and the big lies, you see the petty selfishness, you see the hallow arrogance, the intolerance, the burning hatred, the cruelty, the spinelessness, the stupidity, the banality, you see the glorified addictions, and they can't see it on themselves.

And you feel helpless and bewildered and angry at them. You suddenly can't understand how can't they see it after you explained them and furnished them with solid facts.

Just look, you ask them, just look. And they seem to refuse. Hypnotized. Completely hypnotized. They keep repeating the old slogans as if you told them nothing.

And you get furious. And fury is painful.

You get furious at them because you are not enlightened yet. You haven't cultivated enough compassion yet to realize that it is only fear that drives their behavior.

You get furious at them because you are not enlightened yet. You haven't extinguished completely your ego yet. Your ego is still competing with these people on who is right. Yes, you are right, but your ego tries to use this understanding for its combative purposes.

And you get furious. And fury is painful.

Be fully aware of this fury. Let it out. Do not suffocate it.

Be aware of your ego.

Try now to see these people as they are. If you manage to do so, you will notice the fear behind their behavior.

Soon all this pain will gone.

Asanga's picture

Truely beautifully written

How well expressed, Nancy! Your words reach out and soothe...

I am, yet I am not...

Asanga | Wed, 06/02/2010 - 05:45
kaput's picture

Political views change accordingly

Excellent text.

You feel this drifting from what the masses think when you happen to sample your political views from time to time, you notice that they change unnoticeably as you advance on the spiritual path.

You become more humanist, more liberal, more democratic, more freedom concious. And the rest, including your friends and family, stay at their old positions and you find yourself departed from them.

kaput | Wed, 06/02/2010 - 07:54
B-friend's picture

There's many things that can be seen in others...

...But don't forget the Divinity.

There may be a few things that could benefit and uplift man but I would have to think that seeing the Divinity in man has to be near the top of the list, if not at the top.

I know it can be difficult when we let our minds get ensnared by thoughts of the various ignorances we perceive in the world, especially the various sentiments we see in politics as mentioned by Kaput, but there is a tremendous effect on others and ourselves when we see the Divinity in others on a case by case basis. It's not so much that we proclaim that others are God, but more as if we see the Divinity in them playing hide and seek with us. They may not be aware of the Divinity in them but you are.

A most recent example of this, for me, was when my boss put his hand on my back as we were trying to figure something out on the computer and I felt the Divinity in his touch. It was very powerful. I found it difficult to remain focused as I was driving home from work even.

Seeing the Divinity in family can be difficult know. But It is there.

It's a simple thing to learn to do and eventually it just becomes natural. It is also kind of fun and makes life that much more interesting when you witness some of the effects, especially when others treat you to seeing the Divinity in You. It's also a simple thing to forget when we let ourselves get dragged off to the various pits of existence that don't allow us to have trust in others, but, whether you can trust someone or not, it is still possible to see the Divinity in them trying to hide behind their ignorance. Know others for WHO THEY TRULY ARE even as we play their game. That's the most we can do for them if you ask me.

Even when talking with others here I'm always reading between the lines looking for what Divinity has to say. EVEN the play of disagreeing is really just a means to provoke Divinity into spitting something out. Dare I say even my stupidity is

B-friend | Thu, 06/03/2010 - 13:27
johnd's picture

A phase

You are very right but the phenomenon described in the post is not something you can choose or control. It is part of the process.

It's beyond forgetting or remembering divinity or any other concept.

It's simply a phase in between in which one has to let out these perspectives about others and not resist.

johnd | Fri, 06/04/2010 - 05:56
B-friend's picture


This phase doesn't end. It only changes form.

The youth rejects authority and finds himself alone and a rebel. "Why do you listen to these fools and hypocrite adults?", the youth proclaims.

Later they reject societal values...

"All these fools and hypocrites are only hiding their true desires."

Then they find the courage to question greater things...

Religion--"How can these people be so ignorant! Can't they see the lies behind all these religions!"

Spirituality--"All these idiots are only seeking egoic fulfillment!"

The World--"Why am I surrounded by so many DEAD people!"

The Universe--"What kind of God creates such nonsense!"

Then they may be led to yet another perspective...

"I see the puppeteers behind the scenes! Why can't you people see this!"

"Look here you fools. You are slaves!"

"All these idiots concerning themselves with the lies and hypocrisies of religions and spirituality. If they only knew!!"

Even Later...

"Oh how fortunate are they that they can believe in such things. Ignorance is bliss."

It does keep going. Especially as we explore the paradigms that follow. The phenomena, as you say, may or may not be controllable. It may very well be human nature. I think there is a point, though, where this game gets old. It can be ignored, which, is another form of non-resistance. As someone here once said to the effect, "then it's time to stop and smell the flowers".

B-friend | Fri, 06/04/2010 - 08:10
Asanga's picture

Wonderful list!

Thank you for such a lovely list of stepping stones...

I stopped to smell the flowers and watch the sunset... and I found love, peace and joy...

I am, yet I am not...

Asanga | Sat, 06/05/2010 - 05:33
omsairam's picture

ur true..and thats more true

ur true..and thats more true and even more painful with our near ones who we can neither leave completely nor accept totally...and feel urself to be blessed if u see ur shortcomings even in this disastrous situation....may u always be on the rite path...

omsairam | Wed, 09/29/2010 - 08:01
Elijah_NatureBoy's picture

Enlightenment's Pains!

Nancy, what you are describing are not pains of enlightenment but the pains of becoming reborn or the trivial of the new birth. I was in the organized church during my new gestation and trivial when those pains engulfed me but after my birth during the latter years of my new childhood those pains left me because of the pains of accepting the natural magnifiers usually call opposites.

I'm not saying it's not painful to become enlightened, because it definitely is but as we become enlightened we realize the eternal plan is only for a residual few beings to become enlightened at any given time therefore our concern is not in others but our ability to accept the natural magnifiers of pain and pleasure, bitter and sweet, pretty and ugly and the other abstract magnifiers we must come to realize are our teachers to make us become enlightened.

--Elijah "NatureBoy"-- Presenting SEEDS OF LIFE @

Elijah_NatureBoy | Wed, 02/15/2012 - 17:57
dhani_w's picture

Alone is not lonely

Yes.. Surely each of us alone.
We birth alone. We take spiritual path alone. We will die alone. But alone is not lonely.

When gurus found whole new world, totally different with this one, he/she tried to tell people, to take them in, "You need not suffer anymore". But people don't and won't understand, they feel everything is all right, "Are you crazy? Hahaha". Only those who ever experience understand.

Compassionate is guru's personality, he/she care not whether other understand him/her, but he/she do care people. He/she already perfectly happy, his/her works only taking people to his/her beautifull view, "Hey.. see what I see! It's beautifull! Don't be so sad.. It's unnecessary.."

Sincerely, Dhani

dhani_w | Fri, 03/02/2012 - 08:57
diogenes's picture

Beautifully honest post. If

Beautifully honest post.

If I may...

Is it that the fear behind their behavior will finally be seen? Or is that not already the case?

Rather, is not the liberating vision that which sees no responsible doer of the behavior?

The quality of water is not touched by the shape of the wave. What is here is there, and vice versa.

diogenes | Wed, 07/25/2012 - 02:28