Serenity and Quiet

MAI's picture

Average: 5 (2 votes)

The last few days have brought forth a subtle awareness within me.

There is quiet, and then there is quiet !!

All quiet is not serenity.

A very slight, yet subtle, barely perceptible difference, is observed.

There was an eerie quiet, that has been pervading my last few days and nights.

A quiet, that happens when nothing is happening.

The quietness, has been quite disquietening, rather disconcerting, to say the least.

Life on pause….

A lull, long or short, who knows, whether to be followed by a comma, a semi-colon, or a full stop…!!!

Strangely, I find, with so much silence in my outside world, life running on auto, with bare minimum inputs from me….I was uncomfortable.

For a few days, looking to fill that empty space with meaningless thoughts or activities.
Like a drowning man desperately trying to save himself.
Watching my own restless energy, driving me nuts..!!

Weird. Never had this happen to me before.

Have been able to sit for hours on end, in meditative silence.

The difference I noticed, that those periods of quiet were always intersperced with some form of activity.
Even if it was just going shopping for groceries.

Was a lack of doing, versus just, being, that was causing this?

The last couple of years of my life, have been of change.

A lot has been taken away, most of it rubbish.

Since then…

Life had gotten streamlined.

And am grateful and thankful for that.

Yet its all come to a head.
A culmination of sorts.

And having been unceremoniously plonked, with this BEINGNESS, and looking for outlets to DO something with it..!!

Trying to fill the empty space.

For the first time I realize, how intertwined, my beingness was with doingness { even not-doingness }.

I stayed with it.

And let the energy do its jig.
It played up havoc.

Not turning away.

Though frankly…
With a palpitating heart.

This process of detaching itself, was initially for the last few days, internally, a very uneasy one.
It was there till I went to bed last night.

Today, a different quality of quietitude presented
Itself to me, when I woke up.

I realized the one glaring difference was, thoughts of tomorrow, or even the next instant, had vanished.

Time, had been taken out of the equation.

This moment was enough.

As it is.

I, was enough, as I am.

Not looking to add anything to that space.

A silence and quiet settles into my being.

The restless energy, has dissipated.

There is the gentle chiming of serenity, in this quiet.

This moment is presenting itself.
Am sitting here writing this blog.
No thought of the next moment,

Every moment presents itself…in that moment.

There is quiet, and then there is quiet.

And serenity.

I am home.

Asanga's picture

Candid and pure...

Good to have you back!

I am, yet I am not...

Asanga | Sun, 03/17/2013 - 19:11
MAI's picture

When NOTHING presents ITSELF

HAHAHA , Asanga, you....!!!

But to the topic...

The SILENCE when that NOTHING presents ITSELF,
Is louder than the din of cymbals,
Even the sound of words.


MAI | Mon, 03/18/2013 - 02:11
mbnarayana's picture

I have been an ardent reader

I have been an ardent reader of your posts.Every sentence is a quota tion and you are putting your experiences to LKG students like me. Some are beyond my comprehension.some times you make me remeber TS ELIOT(four quartets).ALL QUITE IS NOT SERENITY

mbnarayana | Tue, 03/19/2013 - 06:44
MAI's picture

Learning From Life

Dear nbnarayana,
Thank you for the interest you show in my postings.
I am as much you, a student of life.
The telling of the learning, turns into these blogs.
It was so long ago that I read T S ELLIOT, and dont remember a thing, that now perhaps I will hear it from my grandchildren.
What a co-incidence, the part about quiet and serenity, I mean.I guess Elliot had the same idea....!!!
:-) :-)


MAI | Tue, 03/19/2013 - 10:48