Sadhana

Gilana's picture



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Service to the Guru is exquisite love.



Gilana's picture

Expression

But devotion can't be transmitted in words. Even the most beautifully phrased prose of love (which, of course, I am very good at) is offensive instead of welcomed.

Ego gratification in the form of satisfaction from service is a deep trap for me. I'm not so concerned with getting stuff--but I love seeing someone I love "happy." (Someone I love includes everybody, but my desire for some increses the feeling of love even more.) It's not selfish in the commonly used sense; it is more an acknowledgement of my existence and that I can "do" something good for someone else and that they will benefit from it and feel good, better, loved. In worldly terms, this is one of the highest form of unselfish love.

That's cool in the world, but it's not sadhanna. The guru doesn't enjoy worldly things, even when offered from the disciple's fire of love. It's very confusing, because the expression comes from the purest part of devotion, because the intention is to express that devotion--not to get anything, just to express. But the expression of it distorts it. Love that true and pure cannot come through the vehicle of words. When you try, it gets filled with desire and expectation of receipt; it's too selfish on the disciple's part. It's too impure.

Devotion can only be expressed in action, and the action that is most welcomed by the guru is the disciple's increased understanding. If you truly love the guru, take that love and devotion and allow it in through the caves and crevices of your world hardened heart. Soften and allow alteration, movement, suppleness--consideration mentally, emotionally, physically of a different way.

And this is hard because it will be a way that is different from the ways I have developed over decades (maybe even lives), different from the one that have actually worked in the world and in some small extent, allowed other people to see they are loved. They are ways that were earned through hard (hard, hard, hard!) knock experience. Maybe even the ways that have kept me safe from murderers, rapists, insanity--extortionists of all kinds. The ways that satisfy the world.

If you have a smart guru, he won't be satisfied because he doesn't want the world. If you have a fake guru, he will love the words. He'll smile and bestow blessings.

(ooo, goodie. My favortie subject: the checklist for the fake guru. There's a new one.)

Gilana | Thu, 03/04/2010 - 17:43