Relationships

joejo's picture



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The beginning of maturity is to realise that the cause of bondage and misery lies within. Does that mean that there is no world or are we dreaming a creation which is a projection of our own mind? No that is not what I meant and I find the assumption rather funny but does tell you how ready we are to find escape in one or the other concept. Let me illustrate with an example. I am tempted to get into the pond for a swim. After the dive I find that the water is cold and its hardly pleasant to stay in it. Now the cause of my misery is the cold water and I could begin my search for water at right temperature for a swim. I could also say that there is an original cause which was my desire to swim and secondary consequences. Often removing the secondary effects is not possible if the beginning is wrong.

This becomes even more poignant when we look at it from the perspective of relationships. We get into them with wrong expectations or goals to begin with but later regret our decisions. We may even move and change our partner but the problem is more likely to stay if we have not changed our paradigm.

To blame our parents or others for our woes seems ridiculous unless we are willing to go to the heart of the mater. Yes, the problems lie there and any intellectual gymnastics is not going to solve the problem.