"Is This What You Want?"

Ahimsananda's picture



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about_maharaj.jpg

I am going to tell you about a couple of my dreams, so I want to begin with a statement about my thoughts on dreams. I have examined dreams from both a psychological and philosophical point of view, and have to say that the psychological view seems to be commensurate with my experience. That said, I also have great respect for potential, and it's ability to do most anything! While I believe the manifestation generally follows predictable "rules ", I do not discount an unpredictability beyond my understanding. If spirit "creates " a manifestation, it can certainly arise as dream.

The two dreams I mentioned were both dreams of Nisargadatta Maharaj. I discovered I AM THAT, in 1986 in the San Francisco Public Library. My own copy, a hard cover Indian edition purchased at Field's book store in San Francisco, was purchased a short time later. I have been acquainted with Maharaj for over a quarter of a century. I have not only read I AM THAT several times, I have read almost everything by or about him. But that was some years ago. So I was surprised to recently have two dreams in close succession that featured him, as I had never dreamed of him before. I tell of them because they were a strong impetus to begin writing and talking about non-duality from my own perspective.

Both were short, and the first was the easiest to explain. In the first dream I was in a room, Nisargadatta was standing in a doorway. In his hands were sacred objects made of plaster, from a variety of different faiths. He looked at me, and threw the sacred objects on the floor, braking them to pieces. He looked at me a second time and the dream was over. An easy dream to "decipher". The uselessness of religious dogma, clear enough. My only question was, why would I have such a dream? I know that already. Why waste a perfectly good encounter with Maharaj on something so basic? But I dismissed it largely until the second dream a few weeks later.

In the second dream, Nisargadatta was again, standing in a doorway. As he silently stood there, I approached him and put my hands on his shoulders. We stood face to face, with me staring into those eyes, and tears started to well up in both our eyes. As we stood locked in this silent embrace, there was an unspoken question of "is this what you want? ".

It Took me a while to understand that it was meant that I share my message; that I share this Love. It was clear I was not to be a spokesman for him or his message. We were two faces, two expressions. I would not presume to teach as Nisargadatta did. The message was, not to worry about my lack of education, but write in my simple way as he taught in his. His, or the Absolute's question; "is this what you want ? " meant, do you want to be a conduit for this love we now share? I had had my "experience", my "understanding" 20 years ago. I had tried to flog a book, but it didn't catch anyone's attention, so I just lived my life.

Being a somewhat introverted, quiet type, I had no desire to teach, but I did have a desire to share with like minded/hearted folks. This is why I write and share on Facebook and my blog. Because this is what I want. I want to look into your eyes, figuratively or literally, and share that Love, that understanding. Dream or not, psychological or philosophical, I was able to share that moment with Maharaj. I hope to be able to share such a moment with you and in turn ask "is this what you want? "



mbnarayana's picture

Gurus often make us know

Gurus often make us know that they are with us.They renew our faith in them.They bless us in meditation or prayer or when we are in troubles.They just manifest in the form of dream or some other experience and prove their existence.Yours is the great experience with guru.Very happy to read the post

mbnarayana | Thu, 03/31/2011 - 12:23