"I GIVE MYSELF"

MAI's picture



Average: 4.3 (3 votes)

A friend of mine and I stood at the ashram gate after DARSHAN ,waiting for SWAMI'S car to pass through ,as HE was leaving the city .
My mouth was dry ,tears were welling up in my heart..the thought of separation overwhelming .
At some point thereafter ...I dont know how long..maybe 20 mins..a quiteness...a stillness...all emotions subsiding..an acceptance...CONTENTMENT..THIS MOMENT...
A flurry of activity ,me standing with bowed head..eyes closed..hands folded..barely concious of all the activity around me..and SUDDENLY..
SWAMI'S car at the gate ..a maroon car..(that detail struck..ha ha..)
The car slowed to a halt right where my friend and me were standing...some of the student devotees were doing an aarti ..SWAMI smiling at the crowds gathered around ,waving from the car window hand in ABHAY HAST(gesture of blessing with fearlessnessness.).
In a flash HIS eyes locked with mine..I stood rooted ,hands folded. HE SMILED.
Somebody broke a coconut ...the sound like a clap of thunder...I felt it rolling and coming towards my feet.Eyes still locked in with SWAMI'S eyes I bent down touched it and then as was HIS wont HE spoke..."Touch the coconut and leave it.You have no need for prasadam..."
I straightened up.
HE smiled and the car swept away through the gate on to the highway....
Felt a tug at my sleeve...my friend ..so excited..."look look,"she said "I have been praying to SWAMI ..please give me your heart,please give me your heart..and look.."
WONDEROUS.The outer shell of the coconut had cracked exactly in the shape of a heart....!!!
My eyes shut of their own accord and a smile touched my lips at the sight of joy in my friends tear filled eyes....
And then HE spoke again :
"I GIVE TO EACH ONE ,WHAT THEY ASK FOR.AND TO THOSE WHO DONT ASK..........I GIVE TO THEM....MYSELF !"