the question with no answer...

KRST22's picture

Average: 5 (1 vote)

so i've been thinking a lot these past few days/blogs. i think what happens to me is a lapse in judgment/perception which could be likened to awareness. but here is the million dollar this strictly psychological or spiritual? truthfully i'm starting to side with the first option which is not good because it means the following: i am at a chemical level defective, if prognosis on this condition is correct then i will never be "normal," my child may be predisposed to "mental illness," i should probably be medicated.

if this is spiritual...then i can do something to fix it

does anyone else out there have this problem?

what do you do? do you just say eph it i'm going to live with this and deal with the three weeks of hell in between the three months of "normal" functioning. that's what i've been doing but each and every time it hits i have the urge/desire/necessity to devise a plan to get off of this emotional roller coaster. it really sucks and its frustrating and annoying and i hate it, but i guess not enough to ask for a prescription.

conclusion: back to square one. i guess i can just accept it and deal with it like i have been, is it really that bad after all? YES. has it killed me? Not Yet. will it one day? i don't think i'd let it.
i just would hate to have tried so hard and come all this way and then give up now if there is really an answer out there for this. if there is not then i think im nearing the point where i can accept that. it's always the in between and uncertainty that gets me.

anyway, im glad to have found this site because it's given me an outlet for my thoughts which are a lot

Quantum's picture

Right brain

It's right brain activity. 'Happens when intuition goes on active.

Goes on and on and on adn on.......

Quantum | Wed, 11/16/2011 - 22:54
Quantum's picture

What I do about it...

I stop meditating for a while and engage in physical, everyday, activities to get grounded and and restart my left hemisphere rational thinking side again. Those spiritual highs are better enjoyed by me by enjoying nature.

I also ask myself, what did I accomplish with all this intuition? Did I finally become a better daytrader? No. Did I win the lottery? No.

I still meditate but purely for physical relaxation. If I had a hot tub, I would use that instead of meditating.

Quantum | Wed, 11/16/2011 - 22:59
joejo's picture

Escape, pleasure and Meditation

There is not much difference I guess between a person who escapes from the daily grind of life (where he is using whichever part of his brain) through partying, night club or the various forms of pleasure including drugs and the one meditating for the same purpose.

Being in a rational and grounded state I see it creating more complications as all escape always does.

joejo | Thu, 11/17/2011 - 07:34
KRST22's picture

active intuition

What do you mean by "when intuition goes on active"? I'd really like to learn more.

At the time I wrote this blog I was on a break from mediation. I actually did it today for the first time in about 5 days. Not sure that if I'm going to continue making it a daily practice. I'm not sure why I stopped, I guess I needed to feel grounded like you said. Also today, I went on a walk for the first time in a long. I enjoyed it and I think it could do me good when I have these episodes. I've been thinking a lot about it, I do every time it happens (I'll probably blog about it tomorrow). Anyway, thank you for your advise.


KRST22 | Thu, 11/17/2011 - 03:28
Quantum's picture

active intuition

When I meditate too much I start to feel very intuitive. It is as if "understandings" come to me. For example, I understand, in my own way of course, many things that Jesus said that were once mysterious. And I understand now, in my own way of course, an important essence of the old testament. And I even went through a phase where I suddenly felt compelled to read the Bhagavad Gita, and in my own way, I understood it completely. At least they all made sense to me. In my own way.

I'm sure other would have their own interpretations and understandings.

My intuition felt so charged that I felt the the Universe was opening up to me.

One day, I snapped out of it, and I said, "Okay, what good is all this? Have I become a better daytrader? No. Have I won the lottery? No. Have I accomplished anything of practical value with all this wonderful insightful intuition? No, not that I can think of."

So, I stopped meditating too much.

Now, I just meditate for physical relaxation. And I feel less intuitive now. More grounded.


Quantum | Thu, 11/17/2011 - 03:48