Oh... Shiuli... Shiuli

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And she a voice come over the air waves
Of the hurting and the heart break

And a world that made no sense

As the world unravels
All the ideas you held you held of yourself

Ideas of me and you
And love
Shatter on the cobblestones
And a topsy-turvy world
Spins out of control
And you go plummeting
Into a tail spin
With no hope of recovering
And break out into a sweat
Hurtling towards an unknown fear
Gripped the heart
Fear of death

And wake up
Clutching the sheets
At the edge of the bed

It was a recurring dream I had in childhood
Forgotten as I grew into my teens...
Just so relieved
I remember
That it was only a dream

Only for it to recur
As a waking dream
Ripped and shredded
To pieces
Expecting to be
Shattered into smithereens

Awaiting the thud
My pounding heart
In my mouth

Who fell
Where was the ground

Where the sky
Where the earth

Where below
And what above

Where the heavens
And where hell

Whose wings were singed
When there was no flight

Where the darkness
Whence the light

Where the red heeled shoes
Where there are no feet

What journey
When you never left home

Awakening to the dream
As a dream

A dreamt character can't awaken from the dream
There was no one there
To begin with

Simply this
Aware of itself

And lovers danced the night away
When the dance floor fell away

Oh sweet mercy
Who the lover
Where the beloved
And what these ideas
Of a love

Even love falls away

Floundering footsteps
Her voice
Quivering breath

Wondering how to walk again

Which feet to advance
And when to retreat back into her shell

And waiting on an apology
That was no where near forth coming

And the lies that kept on coming
Fast and furious
One on top of the other
Back to back

Looking for a truth
That would turn the pockets
Inside out

Stepping bravely
With one footstep
In front of the other
To find the balanced ground

And it was like listening to my own story being replayed
Heartbreak hotel

And what could I say

The heart ache won't go away

Yet a point where you no longer run away
Or run after truths

No matter how much you yearn for it

The pain becomes
Who you are
And you don't turn your face away

Nor wonder where that happy cheerful girl went

Or chase rainbows... looking for peace

It ain't over the horizon
But right here
In the middle of the battlefield

And your tears
Precious beyond measure

A smile that's hidden away
Behind an aching heart
Not gone anywhere

That smile bears the fragrance
Of the tears

Like a parijat blossom
Drenched in the rain




Even as from the bough it fell

Even as you look here and there and everywhere
And wonder where the perfume is coming from
And find no other perfumery
The fragrance rising from you

The swooning scent of your own love and emptiness

Ravaged by it
Yet never more beautiful

This ravishing beauty
Is you

And everyone's pain is your own ache

Un-owned yet deeply felt

An iridescent spinning centerless gem


Such a beauty to behold

And as she sat together with her pain

She fell into her own sublime embrace