Non Duality My Journey

Wayne's picture

Average: 4.7 (3 votes)

Non Duality

What does this mean?

It is explained as one without a second

still, what does this mean? and more importantly how can I grasp it?

And there it is in that very sentence "how can I grasp it" indicating two things, I and IT!

Im 48, and I have been searching for over 30 years for something, I never really knew what it was I was looking for, but I

knew it existed but I could never really find it, and through my life it seemed that others had found something mystical in life, awakening, enlightenment, spirituality, oneness, god! All these terms seemed to be in the right direction for what I felt, but so many terms, so many ideals, so many paths, how can it be so hard.

Actually, I think I was searching for something I had lost, otherwise why feel like something is missing?

This is where the idea had started, I had lost something, just like the feeling that you have lost your wonderful childhood

of climbing trees and being free to express yourself, many of us miss those years, for me it was more than this and as it turns out its very close to the truth.

When I was 8 years old, I wanted to be a dancer, I don't really know why the urge for this Leicester born boy was so strong

but it.. and heres the important word,"felt" right.

Eventually I became a dancer, going through college in London and working in shows and TV.

As I grew older, this feeling and lets keep it as, "a feeling that there was more to life" began to take hold at my core, I was doing what I always wanted to do, I had achieved my dream job, my goal, so whats up? why the hole still? what is missing? why the spiritual search again?

I suddenly gave up dancing in my early 20's, without much thought actually which shocked most people and still does, in fact

I dropped it without any regrets at all, you have to also wonder, how can that be, it was a life long dream after all...

Looking back, here's what I think happend.

Duality, non duality, words used by many masters in many teachings accross the centuries.

When I was young, I didnt have any idea who "I" was (This is a good thing) in the sense of I really didn't think too much
about what I wanted to be, I just knew I wanted it to be a dancer, people tried to convince me it was impossible, that I would never make it, but their words just didn't break through, they couldn't actually, I just knew it was my destiny, I could feel it, I was going to be it without a doubt.

At my normal school,I was taught many things, I built an image of myself in my mind, I added my own values, I became confident, I became arrogant. Basically I built "Wayne" I knew he existed he had a purpose, he drove me through life. Before this I just felt my purpose, but being in society I made my purpose, thats when the dualism happened, I became two, what I felt and what I thought I was.

The image of yourself is created in the mind, it is built up of concepts such as your preferences, your limits, your beliefs.

This image is what you think you are, but who built this image? who created these beliefs... you did!

You is single, your idea of yourself is dual, there is only you, not your image of you.

before you think, you exist, while your sleeping, you exist, while you are paying your taxes you exist!

Meditation is simply existing without thinking!

You can feel your life without thinking, try it now, are "you" reading this, or is your mind interpreting the words? before you read the next word in this sentence you exist, you exist between the words, you exist, you exist, its not a thought, it is a feeling, you feel it when you are young and you miss it as you grow, as the idea of yourself becomes clearer, solid, you build a personality, opinions, just like that song the logical song, you are raised for society and taught to be in society, this is important, to function in society, but it also takes you away from yourself.

you are here, not your mind, notice yourself, feel alive...

This is what the teachings are saying this "I" feeling this non - duality is really total presence, awareness, you cannot

think it, or learn it, it has to be felt, feel it in our guts, breath in your life, be just you...

If you can notice this, you will feel its bright, shiny new space, if you try to analyse it, it will recede as the mind is a screen on it, not it!

The mind cannot grasp it at all as its not in its jurisdiction, its more of a feeling, right now as you read this feel you

are alive... that is it!

That is meditation, that is oneness, that's what has been missing, that's why you read that when people drop the search, it suddenly happens, its never been found by the mind, and cannot be found or understood by the mind, my spiritual search is over, so what now? Ha, see how the mind asks the next question, "so what now?" that's what the mind does, looks for explanations, methods, practices,reasons..

You live! thats whats next living not searching, yet its all changed with this understanding, things happen the same, but you seem to be before each event, you slow down, your more together, you are spontaneous, deeper, any more words here will lead us back into the minds realm again and you will start thinking.. I want to feel that, I want to feel spontaneous again.. this is a trap! expect nothing and all will happen, give up trying and start noticing your aliveness, awareness, feel life again, at your gut level, feel it all forget thinking its not part of you, in fact what are you,really you don't exist at all, your just a collection of thoughts, and throughout your life you have changed those thoughts, you have thought yourself to be this and then that, a good person, a bad person, which are you? that's the game of the mind again, stop!

Once you feel this again you can never loose it, and more importantly,at this very moment you are it! you are aware, you are one. The one and only you!

Now stay in it!

enlight's picture

Grasping non duality

Words and mind games cannot of course lead to the experience of non duality as they are the prime tools within the realm of duality.

Those who try to rationalize it and derive it through deduction (e.g. neo advaitans) do not really arrive at the taste of non duality but just go in circles.

When you say for example that non duality is the one without the second you defined it based on entities within the dual field. When you do not transcend religious concepts such as the son and so on, you do not really have the chance to taste non duality.

There are 3 known ways to really taste non duality:

(1) "By chance/accident" - having a blessed glimpse for a few seconds or even for longer periods. This can sometimes be obtained as a result of asking for it or due to intensive bhakti and can happen only to people with very weak mind.

(2) After long and intensive meditation sessions (sometimes for weeks) - especially one that focuses on the sense of "I Am" or one that watches the thought process.

(3) Psychoactive aid - this is the best way and the most profound. The most recommended aid is Ayahuasca.

enlight | Sun, 12/23/2012 - 07:44
Wayne's picture

No Grasping Required

Any grasping and you have lost it, 3 ways are meaningless, the ways are another statement from the mind, you seem to have got caught up in the words "one without a second", these are Sailor Bobs words a direct disciple of Nisargadatta Maharaj.

1. Chance/accident... to whom does this happen? Isn't it available right now? How can it not be?
2. Long intensive meditations... I have done this for years, after it is dropped, it happens.
3. Psychoactive aid... nothing is needed as an aid except understanding as a pointer, the rest happens outside of the mind outside any grasping, drugs are not a permanent solution after all, who is taking them?

I love your first statement..

Words and mind games cannot of course lead to the experience of non duality as they are the prime tools within the realm of duality.

Exactly, though we need to use them to try and convey to others our experiences but only as a pointer on the journey not the destination, its the only crude tool that we have.

Wayne | Sun, 12/23/2012 - 08:37
enlight's picture

Dual non-duality

Sorry but I disagree based on my experience.

Regarding your remarks about the 3 ways:

(1) Leave the "to whom" technique in this regard. It is another trick of the mind to misuse self enquiry. The mind cannot understand this and the question of a subject perceiving is not relevant to the experience (there is an experience (with/without an experiencer). Clearly it is not available right now because in daily life we are evidently identified with the mind-body trapped in the dualic realm).

(2) Great. This is not different from what I meant.

(3) Ayahuasca is not a drug but a medicine. Don't let conventional cultural disinformation and propoganda control you, at least not until you try something by yourself. Understanding is a mind thing and the result is of course the same. If and when you will try this medicine you will understand what I meant. The non dual experience in its pure notion stays with you for ever, it is a metaphysical realization that nothing can erase its traces even if you wish to. And again, the subject/center issue is not relevant to this specific discussion, beware of its misuse.

enlight | Sun, 12/23/2012 - 09:28