Nishkam Pravrutti Marg: The Path of Selfless Service, part 2

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My host asked me, "Do you want to eat some thing?” I said, "No”. Because the Jatawale Babaji had told me that I should not eat anything else on the day when I had ate that herb. "You mean to say that you had food today?” he asked with a bit of surprise in his voice because the nearest human colony was at least three days journey on feet and I had no such belonging that can indicate that I was carrying food with me. I told him that I had some blessed herbs which helped me to sustain. He was silent.
He had gathered quite a lot of dry wood in his dwelling and made a small fire place. He had two small marble stones with him. He had made a small fire pit with soil and small rocks which indicated that he lighted fire there. He put some wood and a bit of Ghee in that fire pit and started to rub the marble pieces with each other generating sparks. He started to chant Vedic mantras for Agni Deva (The God of Fire) while doing this and I watched him silently. Soon, much sooner than my expectation, I saw those woods burning. He put some water on the fire and added honey and salt in it. I watched it with curiosity. As it boiled he gave it to me in an Earthen bowl to drink. I did not know if I could drink it or not, as that Jatawale Babaji had not told me anything about drinking such thing.
I decided to drink it as it was offered to me with some affection and concern. I drank that hot drink with salt and honey and felt real good. By now from the accent I had understood that my host was from West Bengal State of Eastern part of India. He told me that he had enough rice for the winter and he used to eat once in two days. He used to cook rice with little salt. He offered to cook some rice for me as he was not supposed to eat that day. I said I also did not want to eat anything. He told me that I can take rest and we would talk at the next morning. Suddenly I realized that for a long period of time I did not have such luxury to sleep under such a shelter at night. So I started to feel very sleepy.
When I woke up I saw him practicing asanas. I watched him with interest. He was marvelous. I also decided to sit for meditation. I meditated for few hours. When I opened my eyes I found him looking at me with great interest. He told me, "you seem to be a very advanced yogi!” I replied, "I don’t think so. I am a seeker, trying to find out my destination. But you seem to be a master of Hath Yoga.” He smiled with some sadness and replied, "Well, I do practice a lot. I am here at this place since last ten years. I wanted to be a Siddha but somehow I have not been able to advance. My Param Pujya Gurudeva took Maha Samadhi before three years. Suddenly after that I realized that I have not reached anywhere except for mastering these Hath Yoga practices. I have a family in West Bengal, I miss them often. I had dreams to go back to my home as a Siddha but it seems that it will never happen. I don’t know what should I do now. I left home to return as a great conqueror But now I find myself absolutely defeated. I don’t want to go home now and I don’t know how I will spend the rest of my life here.” His voice trembled as he spoke about this. "Ten years in Himalayas, mastering the techniques of Hath Yoga, and now in total despair.” I looked at him with compassion. "I saw you sitting in meditation, calm and quiet for almost half of the day. I am surprised and feel envy.” He told me with a voice full of appreciation.
Now it was my turn to be surprised. I asked him, "Isn’t this normal? Don’t you meditate?” He replied, "I do meditate of course but cannot for so long time. I start to get many emotions and thoughts after a few minutes. I have to take support of imagination again and again to prolong my practice. I know this is not right but I can’t do it.” I thought about my Pujyapad Shri Guruji and my Pujyapad parents who made me meditate from a very young age and my heart was filled with a strong wave of gratitude towards them. I looked at the Bengali Baba who had left everything in search of peace but was in total despair in an isolated place of Himalayas. What was the reason? His desire to become a Siddha? His own mind? I thought about him. I tried to convince him that he will be able to meditate and reach the condition of Samadhi some day. But he kept on telling me how disappointing it is for him. Soon he will be fifty years old and have nothing to be proud of.
My meeting with Bengali Baba made me think about what went wrong with him. How can he be so much in despair after spending so much time in Himalayas?! He was wonderful in Hath Yoga, but he could not meditate. I understood him. He was a real seeker, he knew that he is not able to meditate. Today when I look around and see people boasting about their every day meditation I remember that Bengali Baba. He knew what is the state of meditation in reality because he had learned from a Guru who was a Yogi of the highest calibre.
To be continued...

by Guruji Shri Shriyogeshvara