Kundalini Awakening Sucks

ksquyres's picture



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I joined this site and am writing this post for one reason, to possibly get some answers to what for me has been a very strange and difficult odyssey.

Apparently my Kundalini was awakened about 5 years ago. I had absolutely no idea what was going on for the first 3 1/2 years. It was only when someone I confided in recognized the symptoms and told me what they thought it was. I Googled it and sure enough it's a dead ringer for what I've experienced.

I am open minded, just having this Kundalini thing is bizarre enough for me to not believe other spiritual explanations. The challenge I am having right now is that so much of what I read seems very dogmatic to me and simply is not resonating with me. I read about this type of energy and that type of energy and there are 3 stages of this and 5 stages of that and Kundalini is dangerous without a master and some articles say the solution is to ground the energy and basically make it dormant again while others say to clear the channel so it can continue upwards and blah blah blah.

...lots of very detailed "out there" explanations, and they often conflict with each other.

Suffice it to say, much, most actually of what I read is a turn off to me. I don't like it when spiritual seekers read book knowledge of others and parrot back what they read and use the right buzzwords without REALLY experiencing what they are talking about.

Yes, I know I'm supposed to "watch the symptoms" without judgement etc etc etc...it doesn't change the fact that I am trying to keep a business from failing while raising kids and some days I have to lie in bed unable to function and crying for no good reason- or twitching and spasming like my whole body is being electrocuted. The newest one is extreme stiffness and pain in my neck.

I want to understand what is happening. But I would like to have this understanding without being tainted by a lot of rhetoric. For example I am open to ideas such as Kundalini is burning of lifetimes worth of karma- but it doesn't really resonate with me and more importantly it doesn't help me much.

I want concrete answers. Will the suffering stop? Will it get worse before it gets better? Will this energy eventually find its way to my crown? If so, what happens then? Any input is welcome. As I mentioned, I'm open minded to anything, but will greatly appreciate down to earth simple answers (especially from other that have actually experience this) vs. a lot of spiritual "isms". Thank You, ksquyres



mittaladitya89's picture

Bro you are not alone!

about 2 year ago, My kundalini was awakened.
I didn't know anything about any such energy.
I didn't know if there was anything like chakras in the body also.
my 3rd year of engg had ended at that time, and i had come back home for the holidays.
My parents didn't know anything about chakras also, forget kundalini.
I had no one to ask or talk. I tried to refer some religious text books also, but couldn't understand anything.
I was (for many days) getting thoughts of running away from home. But I obviously have responsibilities towards my parents, so I just stopped meditating for almost an year!

But I have a guruji, He is super awesome, god-like, for me he is god. So actually I waited to go and ask him.
By that time it was dormant again.

but in the last one year, iv studied a lot of books,
i think its not just un-clean prana that is a problem.
A LOT is dependant on mind, and the lifestyle after your awakening. So cleansing + gaining knowledge from books + having some saint (or guru) who really is an awesome meditator. for you i would say u need all 3.

Else if you just hate it, stop meditating for a while -
but seriously let me tell you - its really really difficult to awaken again. I have not been able to.
I now have different experiences, like loosing physical body perceptions, feeling the pineal gland etc. I've felt all the chakras again, but I hv not been able to awaken it.
It is a gift, I would suggest you to gain a lot of knowledge from books.

I read this book - And for me each page was filled with knowledge -
Kundalini Yoga - Swami Satyanand Saraswati

I NEVER had any habit of reading, hell I didn't read any book fully in my life, not in school, not in college. but i've read like 5-6 good thick books fully in couple of months.

Don't read on internet man ! I've started coming on internet after reading those books. And I would suggest you also don't come back till you read a couple of books And find a true saint. Else converse with one true saint on internet. Never go around running from site to site.

Read Not just about kundalini. Read gita. Read about spirituality. Patanjalya Yoga pradeep (wrong spelling, sorry). I dunno if you are from india or not, read you holy text which are being explained by some true saint.
Don't loose the gift, I really would suggest that.
I've heard real case of person going crazy on awakening, I think only in those cases should it be made dormant again.

Side note :
Try bhakti. I dunno about you, I never really try to devote myself to any god. I believed only in human expansion.
But Bhakti is really really awesome and beautiful.
Try giving half an hour, to only the god that you pray to.
Only asking for his presence, nothing else.
thanking him for making you a creature that can pray to him.

This is all I know.

mittaladitya89 | Sun, 03/25/2012 - 10:57
ksquyres's picture

Thank you. I did stop

Thank you. I did stop meditating over a year ago. It's definitely not dormant it keeps moving higher and causing discomfort in higher regions of my body. I will look into some of the things you suggest...what is very difficult is running a business and kids- so hard to take the time to reflect and adequately deal with the rising, so it just gets "stuck" for long periods of time creating problems that I feel I cannot make the time to deal with...K

ksquyres | Mon, 03/26/2012 - 07:00
ksquyres's picture

What Were Your Symptoms?

I forgot to ask, did you intentionally make the energy go dormant? What were your symptoms? Honestly, making the energy go dormant doesn't sound like a bad idea to me!

ksquyres | Mon, 03/26/2012 - 07:02
mittaladitya89's picture

Namaste!

1.I did not have any physical symptoms, but mentally I was not able to handle it. I got shit scared.
Also the thought of running away from home wouldn't leave my mind. I had no one to ask anything also.
No meditation partner.

2.What mr. Yogivah is suggesting is totally right. But living in the city, does make it difficult to keep a good healthy diet. Watching what goes in your system is really important.

3.The main problem is that you have been meditating for four years after the awakening, obviously it won't become dormant so easily. I do not know how to intentionally make it dormant.
I would still suggest against it. I have also started my business and I totally understand what you mean when you say taking decisions can be tough or somedays you are not able to work at all.

4. Take out time to do pranayam - ask mr. yogivah he might know how to do it properly. That will cleanse you prana (life force). Sometimes its the unclean prana actions that cause problems rather than kundalini.

May God Bless you.

mittaladitya89 | Mon, 03/26/2012 - 11:09
yogivah's picture

Simple life-regular routine-exercise-good quality food & rest

A simple life without excess,good food in limited quanity,plenty of rest,exercise and practice of daily meditation will give you good results.

Ther is no need to make it any more complicated than that.

When i lived with my Yogi Gurus in the Himalayas and practiced what was taught they never even spoke about Kundalini,just a simple daily routine of proper living as Mother nature intended will produce very good spiritual results.

Best wishes!

yogivah | Sun, 03/25/2012 - 11:05
ksquyres's picture

I agree

I think it's excellent advise and I appreciate it. I do try that very protocol with mixed results. What is a bitch is when upheaval or whatever you want to call it comes up, sometimes getting through the day is extremely challenging much less hitting the gym or making smart food decisions...

...when it gets bad I tend to drink wine to numb it and eat whatever is front of me. I don't have to be told that I'm just prolonging the purging, but sometimes it just keeps me hanging on...regardless I think that is the most fundamental good advice and something I try very hard to follow thanks again...K

ksquyres | Mon, 03/26/2012 - 06:55
ruby246's picture

hello ksquyres

Hello - I read your blog after posting 10 protocols for kundlaini awakening -
I see that you have not posted since march - I am wondering how you are - being in the middle fo a kundlaini awakening that is very physical with phenomena is no walk in the park and for sure trying to live the daily life can be a challenge - this I do know from my own experience.

The good news is that it can be done with some ajustments to the way life was lived - and for me this has brought so many blessings not just to me but to my family also.

I had a spontaneous awakening even 5 years ago - check out my blogs and stuff and if you would like to contact me I would be very happy to communicate with you at any stage.

I am hoping that you are okay and managing - if this is your status quo please do belive and trust that it can be a lot better than that - a kundalini awakening is a blessing beyond our knowing when it first occurs - that can be hard to hear if you are having difficult physical phenomena and sympthoms but even so it still needs to be said - sending you love and blessings - ruby

ruby246 | Fri, 07/27/2012 - 21:12
denz4u's picture

simple rest

I would advise simple rest from anything spiritual related. You are purgin and your body is reacting and so is your mind. Al this is normal if You can withstand all the symptoms taht come with. Very few are able to handle a full force kundalini awakening so you are not alone in this process. I know what it feels like to lose your fucking mind, go berserk. I been there myself. It took me 2 whole years to clear all of this out after I had just quit all together one day many moons ago. That's not to say I do not still have symptoms as I still do just not as often and sometimes I even wonder if it is all gone because I feel absent and forgotten. Now I am just rather floating in and out and not paying to much attention to any one thing for too long a time. All will be explained in due time. good luck and I hope you can find you place of peace.
Denz

denz4u | Mon, 07/30/2012 - 17:38
manojaay's picture

blessing

hallo brother you are lucky one if mother kundalini is awaken.
you can get help from this site www.siddhaashram.net , you can
ask for help guru shri Nardanand ji who gives initiation into kundalini yoga.As you will call him he will give you time to sit for meditation and you will get right direction .At the end my advise is only that do not loose this oppotunity.it not comes easily .

manojaay | Mon, 04/02/2012 - 13:04