The Knife's Edge

MAI's picture



Average: 4.7 (3 votes)
482882_567848316567721_859363545_n.jpg

Dig, dig, dig…
Deeper, deeper, deeper….
Till, standing at the edge of the precipice…
Looking down into the yawning abyss….
Exhausted and disappointed….
Weary of the search…
For that mythical gem….
You realize, this is a bottomless pit….!!!
Empty…empty…empty….
All your expectations, shatter…
Your beliefs turned belly up…
The hoax, revealed….
Bore a hole in the earth, to the other side….
And when you emerge….
You’re still standing on the very same earth….
Only now, looking 180 degs.
Back to where you were, on the other side…
No different now, than this side…
Well….the same…yet not the same….!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Let awakening be a paradox, then, and realise that the need to rest on either side of awakening's knife edge is just the mind's need for a fixed position. Let the mystery be the mystery.”
— Jeff Foster

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, I had an aa-haa moment…
Took me down, a notch or two….
Deeply humbled by it…..

Didn’t realize I had been holding onto some deep- rooted beliefs and some conceptual expectations.
The realization was a punch in the stomach….
Leaving me sore, for a few moments…

Lying down, in bed, quiet, relaxed…

An absolutely unexpected DESIRE arose…
My mind followed the rosy path, it carved…
Weaving stories of blissful raptures….
Of paradise and the here-after….

A few seconds later….
A FEAR arose…..
Of a lurking thief….
Taking all the treasures away….
A despairing sense of loss….

Moments passed….
It all seemed so real….
Shaken out of my reverie…
A second’s pause….

Then ANGER arose, and FRUSTRATION….

That, thoughts like these should still arise…

Sullying the pristine space of my being…

Exposing to my very eyes, my beliefs….
Undue, conceptual expectations…
That, these trouble-some thoughts, just wouldn’t arise…!!!

That once, on the other side….
Which really is the same side…yet not quite the same…..

Knowing is one thing….that all these thoughts are like passing clouds, against the vast expanse of the sky of my being…..rising and falling….
Yet, understanding it, settling down in the heart, and totally accepting it…
Now that’s another matter altogether….

Darn…one by one…all going up in smoke….
Another one bites the dust.
And another one, and another one….

This bottomless pit….
‘Cause I have no clue how many unconscious beliefs I’m holding on to….
So tied up in knots…..

Let it unravel itself….
While I’m precariously perched on the knife’s edge.

The picture hilarious even to my own eyes…
And looking darned uncomfortable too….

Till I can balance myself…
Buddha-like….
Or not….

Maybe that’s another conceptual belief system….

Of what Buddha looks like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Asanga's picture

Pacman cometh!

Gobble gobble gobble!
Every idea,
Every concept,
Every belief,
Every superstition!
RUN!
Save your soul!
Remain in this glee-filled dream!
The Pacman Buddha is going to eat you up!
And you will awaken!
Into...
Burrrp! - Deepam

I am, yet I am not...

Asanga | Wed, 06/26/2013 - 16:37
MAI's picture

Who knows...

Hahaha...
Asanga, who knows what all crap we are carrying around....???
I don't even know how much is psychological, but am slowly discovering that some patterns are definitely past, left over imprints {samskaras }, of impressions formed from traumatic incidents, which re-play themselves, and have nothing to do with the present situations. More, just conditioned behavior, playing out. But the awareness of it then suddenly releases the tension caused by the veil over reality, and I can laugh as I am no more in the grip of a mind-made construct...!!!
A phase of in-house spring-cleaning....
Sweep, sweep, sweep ...

TRUTH,LOVE,PEACE
MAI

MAI | Thu, 06/27/2013 - 03:07