It's been awhile

braaron's picture

Average: 4.7 (3 votes)

I havn't been on here in quite a long time. On one hand I was conviced that I was supposed to stay with christianity. On the other hand, I never felt at home with xitanity, my fellow "brethern" couldn't quite judging me, if I asked a question that opposed their dogma or what their interpretaion of the bible was then it turned into a huge argument. On May 7, 2009 on a night ride home on my motorcycle through a rain/lightning storm I feel I had an epiphany. I could feel every rain drop, the wind seemed to embrace me and I could smell flowers/pleasent aromas, I was completely vulnerable in the elements being on my bike. IT hit me, that God must be experieced and lived. I can't truly know him just from reading about him in a book (bible). I felt a oneness a unity with God I have never felt with all the years of reading 10 chapters a day, praying without ceasing, going to church every sunday and I never felt the way I did on that night. So I am looking for my true path that I am to walk on. I would like to extend peace and light to everyone. Be blessed.

sisi's picture


I think your story is remarkable and I'm so happy to see you back here.

What you describe about your search and the organized religion happened also to me and to so many others. However, not many are fortunate enough to find themselves awaken from the religious dogma and they try harder and harder and accumulate more and more unconscious disappointment. It even happened to Mother Teresa.

This is the problem of organized religions, unfortunately. The beginning was enlightened and magical but they have been processed too much by too many humans that the core spirit, the magic did not remain or was covered completely.

Having said that, if you look very carefully, you can still find there precious diamonds. This is what Meister Eckhart and Eckhart Tolle have done with uncovering the essence of Jesus. So do not now move to the other pole and negate whatever is associated with Christianity. Just be more independant and discriminative. Christianity still has marvelous precious islands of wisdom.

I was visiting today the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia, Spain - one of the most important sites for Christians. I looked at the people praying and trying to connect with God, I could see some of them trying so hard, so hard. Yet, probably because of the accumulated spiritual energy there or because some supernatural cause, the vibe there was very strong and if you just sat there with eyes closed, no effort, just meditating, you could easily achieve oneness with the divine. This, I think, demonstrates the two sides of organized religion - crafting your own path but possibly still exploiting the benefits of the organized religion.

Much love.

sisi | Mon, 07/13/2009 - 23:27
madan_gautam's picture


Greetings & welcome back,
Yes indeed that was the glimpse of His Divine Grace on you.
Now its on you to explore it or not,because every human being go through such phases three to four times or more in his/her whole life time.Those who explore further achieve Him permanently and those not, loose.
Search in your deep inner and you will find Him there.

madan_gautam | Tue, 07/14/2009 - 03:55