How's the weather in there?

slenten's picture

Average: 4.3 (4 votes)

Lately, I am amused by my mind's bewilderment: it doesn't know anything but the soul shines on anyway. The mind churns along, thoughts come and go but the heart reassures me that I am not this ghastly collection of vrittis and sanskaras. If feels very ordinary but also extraordinary; I feel lonely and empty; yet full of love. What a strange and fantastic feeling. Joy mostly predominates and prana subtly flows giving it a trickle of bliss. Is there attachment? Yes, but not holding on fast, just watching it unfold, moment to moment.

It is becoming easier to let the heart do the driving; the mind's intrusions can be shocking but they are useful lessons. Continual questions about the limits of this consciousness and probing it in meditation. More experience of the razor's edge in meditation which can be, by turns maddeningly ineffectual and frighteningly deep. I feel an acute need for a teacher nearby but haven't found anyone yet. Also, cautious about intent. I want to get out of the way and let the soul lead me.

sisi's picture

always be alert to the mischivious tricks of the mind

We must always be alert making sure our heart is indeed driving the car and it is not the mind which is towing us unnoticengly while we think we are navigating, always make sure you hear the vibration of the heart to make sure the engine is on.

sisi | Thu, 10/02/2008 - 09:13
Omkaradatta's picture

Where do you live?

What kind of teaching are you looking for? Some kind of support? Can I offer you anything?

Omkaradatta | Fri, 10/03/2008 - 01:07
slenten's picture

Thank you for your kind offer!

While pondering my questions and current direction, I came across this list in a PDF of a book by Mahenranath. Robert
Svododa, links to Int'l Nath Order from his website. The list sums up my outlook:

1. Think your own thoughts.

2. Experiment.

3. Documentation.

I'm not an occultist or much of a tantrik but meditation
has opened up an energy pathway. Do you have direct
experience of Prana and Kundalini?

I live in Minnepolis, MN, a spiritually provincial place. All of the "teachers" here are pay-to-play, Yogics, New Age mystics or Vipassana people. They all want to sell some classes or fill an empty cushion.

slenten | Fri, 10/03/2008 - 16:57
Omkaradatta's picture

Not really

Sorry, I don't really have any experience with kundalini or breath work. My own path has actually been pretty simple... I was actively seeking awakening for ~5 years (meditation, reading, conversation), then dropped out of spirituality altogether for another five, during which time things started becoming progressively simpler and more now-centered, without me even thinking about it. Eventually I just said 'my god... this is it, everything is gone, yet the world is my self'. It was very unexpected and I was more or less clueless for awhile. Since then has been a settling out + expansion of this "Knowingness" to every facet of life.

I'm in the Seattle, WA. area... if you're ever in the area, would be happy to hook up for a cup of coffee or something. Not into selling anything here, and (so far anyway) I'm not really teaching either, aside from posting stuff on the Net.

P.S. by 'think your own thoughts', are you referring to being your own person, i.e. not dictated by society and such? Really, thought is a shared thing -- our conditioning is all a collection of stuff from other people. But we can certainly go our own way, drop society's standards and march to our own drummer, so to speak. I agree very much with 'experiment', not sticking to one guru or teaching in particular. Dunno about documentation, depends what you mean by that :-).

Omkaradatta | Fri, 10/03/2008 - 17:47
slenten's picture

A list to point.

Was it deepening into Now that brought Knowingness? What was the experience of "everything is gone"... was it the absence of You? Is there and intuition of more? Of something beyond Now?

Maybe Seattle sometime, thank you!

You're right. The list is simple but I think the nuances are implied. "Thinking your own thoughts" is careful corroboration against personal experience. Authenticity is detected and ideas measured against each other. Once there is trust in the veracity of a teacher's words then comes "Experimentaion" which is a feedback loop to one's thoughts. Enough clues, pointers and results (Knowing) to develop methods which must remain elastic. "DocuMentation"... either a spiritual diary to measure progress (spiritual, emotional, mental) or careful, daily mental assessment. You have done it with your posts here on this site, with your Yahoo posts and on your site.

slenten | Tue, 10/07/2008 - 06:20
Phroggy's picture


From my perspective, I see some difficulties with your 'process'. Your experience and your thoughts are not separate, and so you will make correlations that have no foundation and are self supporting.

Experimentation that is designed to proove the truth of the guru's words may suffer a similar fate since you are experimenting on your own illusion from within your own delusion. In many ways, it is like a dream. It would not be useful to do such corroboration and experimentation on your own nightly dream with the intention of discovering something beyond what you are creating in your dream.

Really, there is no 'progress'. What you seek is what is seeking, and it's already here, so how can there be a moving toward it or getting closer to it? Better to seek ways to end the movement away from it.

Phroggy | Tue, 10/07/2008 - 06:49
slenten's picture

Now Here To Go

With pure intent one experiences thought and the mechanical, subconscious mind as separate from the experience of Now and I AM. The experience of I AM is curiously empty yet solid and self supporting. Once started, it does surely become more solid and dominant.

The titans of spirituality have all used experimentation to find knowledge of I AM and the Absolute State. Their efforts
were from love and purity. It is truly the science of love.

I do not experience I AM as a dream or an illusion. On the contrary, it is a multi-dimensional, ever deepening reality.
Ego and the subconscious mind is an illusion of sorts but is still real and an important aid to spiritual evolution.
Strangely enough, in the initial stages, the ego powers the process.

I heartily agree with you that the Sought is seeking but my ego is no longer seeking. The Sought practices and refines in order to be more present: more and more of It and less and less of me.

There is progress. Progress to gain purity, to deepen Being and Now. Progress to hold deeper states for greater insight and clarity. I can see no end to it.

slenten | Fri, 10/24/2008 - 10:14
Phroggy's picture


I can see no end to it either, which is my point. So it is the Sought that practices and refines in order to be more present? If it were not absolutely fully present in each moment, you could not take your next breath. Where does it go when it is not present? What is it that 'knows' that Presence is not fully present but Presence itself? What is it that knows there is progress happening toward the realization of Self, but Self? Do you see that it is the Sought which watches this seeking 'progress'?

Phroggy | Fri, 10/24/2008 - 18:50
Omkaradatta's picture

Booo-ring ;-)

It looks boring to the mind... there's no way around it. "What, it's just this awareness here?" That's why we cannot just drop everything and come to Truth. One has to give themselves the opportunity, and then one has to take that opportunity. Such an opportunity can take any form, really. Only earnestness matters.

The 'awakening' here in January was only genuine because of follow-through. If it had been "oh, that's nice, OK, back to business as usual", it would have been just another faded memory. Only what's happening right now, this very moment, counts.

What everybody really wants is to "wake up", and then fall back asleep and dream about it! ;-). In my view, that's the meaning of "if you wake up, you don't get to be there to enjoy it".

Omkaradatta | Sat, 10/25/2008 - 01:30
Phroggy's picture


"What everybody really wants is to "wake up", and then fall back asleep and dream about it! ;-)."

Yes, I think that's it. There seems to an evolution such that, at first, folks want to know something. When they get it that it's not knowledge they're looking for, then they want an experience, and that's not quite it either. Mind is left with a blank when it tries to contemplate what 'it' is in the absence of knowledge or an experience, and that blank seems to be closer to 'it'.

Phroggy | Sat, 10/25/2008 - 03:46
Omkaradatta's picture


It isn't a blank mind either, but the absence of any attempt to try and contemplate what 'it' is. One can only BE it. Eventually the mind realizes that it's impossible for the Self to see itself, to get 'outside' so it can catch a glimpse, and gives up. One simply remains what one is, minus attempts to freeze things and get a mental snapshot to be examined. Anything that's mentally 'frozen' and then looked at is automatically false.

Omkaradatta | Sat, 10/25/2008 - 06:15
Phroggy's picture



Phroggy | Sat, 10/25/2008 - 19:03
Omkaradatta's picture


"Was it deepening into Now that brought Knowingness?"


"What was the experience of "everything is gone"... was it the absence of You? Is there and intuition of more? Of something beyond Now?"

It's difficult to put into words, because (as Phroggy also suggested) it's the fading away of seeking, of attempts to 'get elsewhere'. It is not experienced as an absence, as something missing or lacking. Rather, the sense of lack (or something missing) goes away. Nothing need be 'beyond' anything any more -- it's the desire/attempt to get somewhere else that creates the illusion.

To the mind it will sound boring, and the mind will automatically say 'this isn't it... this CAN'T BE it'. After all, it's the common matrix of everything, of every experience, thus cannot be sought. The light by which you seek is the light you are looking for.

Nisargadatta: "My stand I take where nothing (paramakash) is; words do not reach there, nor thoughts. To the mind it is all darkness and silence. Then consciousness begins to stir and wakes up the mind (chidakash), which projects the world (mahadakash), built of memory and imagination."

Would definitely be interested in saying hello if you end up in the Seattle area some time ;-).

Omkaradatta | Tue, 10/07/2008 - 19:32