Healing of the Gap...Acceptance and Forgiveness,

MAI's picture

Average: 5 (3 votes)

I sat on a stone bench outside the living room of my son's house, one morning. Breathed deeply the freshness of the early morning air...looking out in a pensive mood, at the tall trees, outside the front gate. There was a cacophony of sound from amidst the branches and foliage....bird song. So still- at this hour. In a short while the sounds of traffic on the road would replace the chirping of the birds.
My little, almost 2 year old, grand-daughter, Kimaya, was tugging at my gown, wanting to show me all the toys she'd transferred from her room, on to the verandah floor. She settled down and started building a tower with her building blocks. Interjecting with a series of "oops", every time the tower came tumbling down.
These sounds were tango-ing with the stillness I felt inside of me.

A deep sense of acceptance arose in me.

Of life, of other people, and most importantly, of myself.
I had wasted so many years in blame. And anger. And resentment. And deep hurt. And pain.

At others and most of all at myself. In fact at life.

Had not even acknowledged to myself, that I was sub-consciously holding onto the burning coal.

It came up now, and in that light of conscious awareness, I gently held all these un-addressed feelings, calmly, lovingly.

A deep sense of acceptance arose in me.

And Forgiveness.

And a letting go.

Of all the " could-haves, should-haves, ought-to have-been".

A deep sense of acceptance arose in me.

Of what had been, what is, and whatever will be.

That forgiveness, not only of others, but simultaneously of myself,left me feeling warm, comforted, wrapped in a blanket of love.

It is what it is.

That anyone, me or the other,can ever act, or think, or behave, or be, anything apart from who-we-are-in-this-moment, brought a smile to my lips.

And who-we-are-in-this-moment...is what life is.
Never a gap.

The only gap, is between who we are, and who we think we are. Or an image of who we think and feel we aught to be.

A deep sense of gratitude arose in me.
For a healing of that gap.
For the at-one-ment {atonement}.

And the sun came out,peeping from the shyness of dawn.

And little Kimaya,sitting at my feet, broke into peals of laughter, wildly clapping, at the tall and colourful tower, she'd managed to make, out of her building blocks.

Asanga's picture


Beautiful! Oops! ;-)

I am, yet I am not...

Asanga | Tue, 11/06/2012 - 08:38
MAI's picture

A little baby, too, is a guru

Thanks Asanga.
A little baby, not quite 2 yrs, and no knowledge of their own wisdom, are sometimes the greatest gurus...!!!
Yeah...just a simple "oops", when a tower of blocks comes tumbling down. Another "oops",and again, another tower, and another "oops", again. Childs' Play.
And I've seen the little one, sometimes, build a tower, knock it down herself, and nonchalantly walk away, and go bang keys on her cassio...
Delightful, isn't it ?
Children can reeeaaallly teach us adults a thing or two, about living life.


MAI | Tue, 11/06/2012 - 10:20