Energy, manifestation, meditation

Quantum's picture

Average: 5 (2 votes)

Yesterday was a monumental event. I seemed to have crossed a threshold. Or, I am making improvement. I had an upset with my baby boy, he made me upset again. Something silly, really. Parent and child stuff, something about walking in the pouring rain and not wanting to wear his thicker warmer coat with a hood, and I was worried he might catch cold again and vomit on the bed in the middle of the night and I’d have to wash the sheets and lose sleep cause I’d have be up by 6am in the morning…yada yada yada… Anyway, I was angry and filled with bad energy about it again. One interesting thing to note is that I didn’t even realize I was upset until after a few miles of driving after I dropped him off at the sitter. Then it dawned on me that this is once again the same bad energy and similar situation I had a few day prior, and the result then was monumental stress starting at 8:30 at work.. sudden meetings, action items pouring down, simultaneous and conflicting meetings and schedules and deadlines. So…naturally I panicked once I realized I was heading for a repeat of that disaster.

Immediatey I tried centering by focusing on my breath. I was still edgy, so I grabbed my mala beads from the side of the driver seat and thumbed the beads while breathing…then I felt the innerbody while having the tactile sense of the beads...all to center myself. The I was still worried about the negative manisfestations of my negative and angry energy. So, I continued to panic, so I pulled out the heavy artillery, I did what has always worked for me in the past, I prayed the Apostles Creed in a certain way I was taught. After I parked, I walked to the building feeling my breath, centering on it. All day while walking I felt my footsteps, while sitting or stationery I felt the breath passing through the nostrils. If triggered with a stress, I immediately tried to feel the breath passing through the nostrils. I did everything I could to stay centered, and focused on something neutral in the present moment.

End Result: For the first time in my life while angry, no negative manifestations occurred in my external circumstances. In tact, it was the best work day of my life! I was caught up, in almost everything. Nothing more I could do on some items, but wait for responses to some emails. I even logged off and left at 4:01, not 4:20, or 4:45, or 5:00. But 4:01 (okay, maybe it was 4:03.)

I used to wonder why relatively minor upsets could manifest so much negativity in my external circumstances, until it dawned on me that perhaps minor upsets were merely sparks that triggered a stockpile of similar negative energy buried deep inside.

Yesterday tells me…at least I interpret it this way…is that meditation is doing it’s job as some sort of laxative, and it’s cleaning out all that waste. Perhaps, soon, even while I get angry or upset, there will be less latent and buried negative energy being ignited, so being angry, will not manifest as much negative external events as it has in the past.

This is my experience, it is real for me at my level of evolution. I just wanted to share this, because I posted a few things in this forum, talking about how my negative energy seems to attract negative angry events circumstances and people. I wanted to post this to show the other side, that there seems to be hope.

Peace to all of you on this forum.