Do we need to transcend sex or is sex divine?

Naradananda's picture

Average: 4.4 (16 votes)
Sacred Intimacy.jpg

"Can we transcend sex?” On most spiritual paths, we are taught that sex was something to be overcome, that it was only for "procreation", that the truly great souls are those who transcend sex. Many of us are bought into these ideas for a long time, I thought that the scriptures, gurus, the hierarchy of the "wise" was all knowing and all I had to do was to follow in their footsteps. That was a long long time ago starting from the teens. In time I disentangled myself from the morass of tradition, I found my own way, carved my own path and freed myself from guilt, fear, and judgment.

Spiritual and religious people tell us to transcend anger, greed, fear.... and yes, lust. I ask why? Why would you want to transcend or bypass anything? Life is full of experiences and emotions and they can all be great teachers that support us in the evolution of our consciousness. In my experience anger, greed, fear, lust, all are powerful teachers if we learn to be present to them, listen to them and receive their wonderful gifts. By harnessing their energies we can enrich our lives. Anger can be a powerful force for change and self expression, greed an amazing motivator and lust a guide showing us how that we deserve pleasure and happiness.

Have we demonised sex or has sex demonised us? I think it is the former. The demonization of sex was the creation of unenlightened individuals who knowingly or unknowingly did not want us to rise to our full potential, who wanted to control and suppress society (especially women) and used religion to "save" us from ourselves.

The sheer thrill, exultation and wonder of sex is life at its most magnificent. If cultivated as a spiritual art, it becomes a profound way to connect with the divine. During sex, the mind stops and all that exists is the moment. It is nature’s way to bring everyone back to their divinity, to discover how amazing, beautiful and wondrous we all are. More than that, it is love in action, giving and receiving, pleasuring and being pleasured. Sex can be the most profound meditation as you step out of your mind and meditate on the subtlest nuances of your lover’s body as it dances in ecstasy to yours. Such a divine dance is worthy of the holiest of the holy, of the Gods and Angels. It is the soul manifest, the oneness actualized and nothing else exists, nothing else matters in that moment.

Some say that sex comes from the lower chakras; others say that it is our lower or animal nature and that we must rise above it. I would say that the lower positioning of the chakras only points towards the earth i.e. our humanness. Lower and higher are only mental constructs, we are both human and divine beings and it is vital for us to embrace both aspects of ourselves. Negation of either brings about suffering and delusion. The light and the shadow walk together and in the words of Carl Jung, "there is gold in the shadow", meaning we have come here for a purpose; we have taken form for a reason. Negating our humanness will not bring us true enlightenment. Embracing the shadow, the physical and using it as a vehicle to evolve will help us fulfil our true life purpose here on this earth.

Is the physical less spiritual? I do not think so. As we ascend, we begin to see that everything is infact spiritual, that the same One Energy has created the forms of the world and the formlessness of the divine. Both form and formless, physical and spiritual, body and soul are in fact made of the same essence. So why have we created a division between them? This dichotomy points to a duality, a better and worse, higher and lower paradigm. Duality is the creation of the mind/ego not the perception of soul. The mind/ego always wants to label things as good and bad, right and wrong, better and worse, lower and higher. And it is this dualistic perception of the mind that is the cause of all discrimination, war, fanaticism etc.

In Tantric sex a wonderful attempt is made to bridge the gap and harmonize the physical with the spiritual. I believe that our challenge is not to divide the physical from the spiritual but rather to integrate and synthesize them. One way to handle is to teach people to love that which they hate about themselves, because the more they hate something the worse it gets and the moment they begin to love it, they can find that which is perfect in it and integrate it thus bringing about a wholeness in which one can truly love oneself unconditionally. Similarly as we love our bodies, love sex, love our souls, love the form and the formlessness of the divine, the perfection and imperfection in ourselves, we will find the equanimity and balance that the enlightened masters have spoken of and then nothing will affect us anymore.

The reason why celibacy is crucial is because it is highly unlikely that we can experience that we are 'not the mind and the body' but the 'spirit' if at the same time we continue to lust after another body! If anyone did a careful study of many enlightened personalities we will find that most were practicing celibacy closer to the time of their spiritual experiences. 'Lust' and 'Spirit' just cannot co-exist. One of the unique personalities of this age is Sri Ramakrishna. He was married and yet lived an absolute celibate life and so also we can learn from other masters. What an unusual life style! A new interpretation of Marriage: - "Spiritual companionship not license for lust!"

Some Interesting links

Dealing with Spirituality and Sexuality -

Spirituality, Sexuality, Celibacy

Dadaji on Sexuality

Metaphysical factors effecting Spirituality and Sexuality

Sacred Intimacy

barbara's picture

The universal answer

Do enjoy sex wholeheartedly as long as you do not find yourself getting addicted to it, this is the point.

The answer is the same answer regarding any of our relationships with world objects and desires, including sex.

There is nothing bad in sex, food, work, sensual enjoyment etc. Do enjoy what god has given you. The issue is your attitude - whether you are addicted to the object or not, whether you have an attachment. If you didn't get addicted then no problem, if you developed an addiction of desire then you are dependant on that object (e.g. sex), you will develop lust, this lust will govern your judgements and demand greater quantities with time and above all lust cannot live together with awareness and spiritual presence.

It is always the same simple answer of proportions and attitude and yet for some reason it constantly tends to be forgotten and we always tend to question the issue focusing on the object itself only (which by itself is neither good nor bad) and thus we tend to drift to the extremes choosing to abstain completely from the object or alternatively to indulge in it completely.

barbara | Tue, 11/18/2008 - 16:30
robert's picture

spiritual benefits of sex

Plus, there can be concrete spiritual benefits to sex, if used properly and not excessively. Tantra Sex and Kundalini stuff are only examples.

robert | Wed, 11/19/2008 - 08:04
Surya Kumar Mishra's picture

Sex in spiritual life

Tantra Sex:
Kundalini Sex:
are all one and the same.
Here the unison of both polarities are made i.e. the polarities at the mooladhara joins with the sahasrar.

So in spiritual life, you do not socialise and have your romance with God.
This may be treated as transcending sex.
People are at various levels.
If you see the Temple carvings at Konark (The Sun Temple) situated in Orissa, India,
you will find that there are four level of people.
In the lowest level people indulge in carnal sex.
Slowly the 2nd level is reached when the person marries and has one wife and have sex as per the need of the child and maintains family life.
The third level of people, are persons who have left the mundane world and have entered into spirituality. They are fed up with the same type of eating and sleeping and go in search for the ultimate truth. These are the people who pursue Yoga either by maintaing sannyasi life or practising at home.
In the fourth level, the people are the enlightened mass. They have equated themselves to the demigods and now are still endeavouring to have complete unison with God.

In the fourth level,

Surya Kumar Mishra | Sat, 05/21/2011 - 09:23
Omkaradatta's picture

I say...

I say it's neither divine, nor a hindrance. It's just a reproductive thing of the body. If it helps somehow on the spiritual path to abstain, that's OK, of course.

Omkaradatta | Thu, 11/20/2008 - 13:22
madan_gautam's picture

Is sex divine?

Nothing is Divine before Awakening & every thing is Divine after it including Sex.

madan_gautam | Tue, 01/27/2009 - 15:14
Omkaradatta's picture

Is sex divine?

Before awakening, some things are considered Divine and some are not. Usually sex is not considered divine. But after awakening, indeed all is Divine.

Omkaradatta | Tue, 01/27/2009 - 15:22
genep's picture

Self's one-force: Sex

for over two thousand years mankind has been swallowing the unfathomable crap that religions and their chastity-chained virgins, gods and gurus have been spreading:
that the Self's One-force, Sex, separates male and female from Spirit, Self, when OBVIOUSLY it unites them to be the One and the Same Self.

as for Ramakrishna -- his celibacy cursed him to be oblivious to the same One-force, sex, Self, as was Buddha with his celibacy.

genep | Mon, 07/27/2009 - 21:37
salim's picture

Of course it is divine.

Of course it is divine. Observe what you feel there and especially at the peak and tell me how can it not be divine.

It is divine of course as long as you do not develop an attachment to it.

salim | Sat, 08/29/2009 - 00:07
Johnnyinsearch's picture

then a question remains

with something so joyful and beautiful and pleasurable how does want not become attached to it ?

how does one person become attached and others dont ?

i feel people only get attached when there is a feeling of lacking or a feeling of something missing .

at this moment in time in meditation i have felt really lonely and ive noticed strong urges of lust arise for a womans touch or sensuality . i know this wont bring me happiness so i dont go looking for it but this urge is unbelievably strong and has no backing off . no matter how present i am it still seems to cause me a great deal of frustration and pain

Johnnyinsearch | Wed, 08/18/2010 - 16:19
omsairam's picture

before awakening sex is

before awakening sex is undevine
sex is devine after awakening...
what sex is as pleasure before awakening
becomes pure love for the goddess after awakening
sex is the play of lower centre
love is the play of the higher centres...

omsairam | Sun, 10/17/2010 - 12:27
jasdir singh jaura's picture

Well explained.

Nice commentry,siaram ji,
Very well explained.

jasdir singh jaura | Tue, 10/19/2010 - 12:19
belinbakti's picture

a taste of bliss

sex play is a taste of the bliss
a taste of what is possible
a kind of tease
for we know there is more
even better to be had
when we come in touch
with our very souls

Love you

Evelyn Bakti Rosa

belinbakti | Tue, 12/28/2010 - 16:26
Elijah_NatureBoy's picture

All Things In Moderation

Earthen Life is the process of learning earth by experiencing every attribute of all life types including what "igorant" man call good and evil and the other magnifiers of earth's plane directed by karma and reincarnatin. In the process we must expreince living lives in excess, abstance and the middle way during different lifetimes.

In acheiving it we must, as man, live what I envision as the entire 182,000-year cycle once as a boy, once as a girl and once as a misture of both, the both being in the last of the three cycles. However, we don't remember them until the incarnation in which we leaves earth's physical plane. In the mean time, we'll meet people claiming to be enlightened masters, and to us they appear to be, but are not, thus, the different concepts you mentioned.

My understandiong is any true master doesn't discarnate to move to leave this plane except during what the Bible calls harvest time, known as world or civilization's end. Biblically, only half of those chosen by name to be harvested will leave alive, the other half disarnates and remaining for one complete 182,000 cycle and are born during the first of the 7 millenniums between the physical and spiritual civillizations, thus, they will have come to the mind of sex only for reproductrion.

Because of karma, each man will have shape changing abilities and for every child conceived or begotten they will change into the other gender and do which one they need to balance their karma. Reason being, there will not be marriage, the cause of our fallen state, and after conception the girl has all care for the child including nursing it alone for 12 years until its second set of teeth are in. Therefore, all who are spiritual must enter the mind of sex's purpose and not lust.

The metaphor of one gender being taken from man in Genesis 2 is the cause of lust. Whatever gender Adam was -- boys may have changed the gender from girl to boy, we don't know for sure -- in Adam renaming the other one woman Adam renamed them both woven from man suggesting neither was not a complete man because their masculinity or feminity controlled their actions. Therefore, it's the magnetic effect of positive to negative attraction which bring lust into existence and, if one hasn't realized this is their last incarnation they are only required by their own heart of hearts to abstain or indulge in lustful sex.

--Elijah "NatureBoy"--
Presenting SEEDS OF LIFE @

Elijah_NatureBoy | Wed, 12/12/2012 - 23:31
Elijah_NatureBoy's picture

We should seek sex's purpose!

When one is wise they comprehend Cause, Effects, Consequences and Purpose. To do that the wise uses Observing others - not necessarily people - and their own participations and various outcomes without emotions. That is why sages, especially ascended masters, teach do not judge because judging is the primary reason we can't be objective. Like Krishna told Arjuna, not in those words, after Arjuna refused to kill the entire opposing army with many of his relatives because love and hate are emotional judgements while Indifference has no emotional attachment or rejecting to overcoming. All Judgmental Adjectives deny our power of reasoning and is also why the Bible's tree of death is called "the knowledge of good and evil", judging kills the power of objective reasoning.

In that light we need to observe the sexual behaviors of all other undomesticated mammals. My observing revealed undomesticated mammals don't engage in sex for pleasure but for reproduction. It revealed after a conception girls are not to engage in sexual activity again until the offspring is weaned, the offsprings discarnate or were removed from her before weaning time. In mammals it revealed if the offspring(s) discarnate before completing the nursing they comes into "heat" sooner than she was nursed the full time, with dogs, they don't attract as many suiters when in early heat.

Notice I said "undomesticated" mammals. The reason is I know domesticated spaded and neutered dogs do actually lock up. With the Adam and Eve metaphor saying Eve was "woven from" Adam caused him to rename them both "woman" means either the yang or yin of Adam was removed and implanted in the girl which left them both minus half of the yin/yang attributes. that left them with a positive or negative attraction for the other that manifests as a sexual urge. That is also why some spaded and neutered dogs will sometimes connect, being domesticated they sometimes have yang or yin charges.

I've had many partners and observed during six conceptions by five different girls and a far larger number of non-conceptions my body's various reactions I discovered the following. My erections varied from none under non-conception situations to such strong erections that had they not been consented I may have raped three girls with firsts conceptions. For the other three conceiving girls the erections were strong but nothing like the first conceiving three. There were a few cases without conceptions that the erection was almost as strong as the second or later conceptions and like I've said, there were several where I had no erection, others were just enough to penetrate the girls but no ejaculate, some about that same strength with immediate ejaculations and up to close to the second or later conceptions.

My observations analyzing revaled the girls causing the strongest erection were exact opposites of my yang/yin and the various lesser ones were different degrees down to no opposition. Therefore I concluded: since man's children need milk for 12 years for replacing their baby teeth man's children should nurse twelve years that would ovulating to cause sexual desires in boys if we were not civilized or domesticated until ovulation began at least three months after nursing stopped. I say that because I've heard of two girls by two differs people in differfent states who nursed for 12 years and never conceived.

I believe that is the wise and indifference approach to "do we need to transcend sex or is sex divine" that suggests it is divine with a divine way of indulging in it.

--Elijah "NatureBoy"--
Presenting SEEDS OF LIFE @

Elijah_NatureBoy | Sun, 04/28/2019 - 02:12