Destressing Practices- 1

anony17's picture

Average: 4.8 (5 votes)

Beloved Friends,
I am sharing a small conversation with you all today...
Love and Blessings,


I work at a halfway house. I want to be a source of peace and empathy for the women I work with but the work stresses me out totally. I've never been good at dealing with emotions, I guess; I've tried writing about them, I've tried reading about various subjects concerning them, but I mostly end up just shutting off, watching television so I can distract myself. I don't want to be like this, but I'm having difficulty redirecting myself towards more constructive ways of emotional healing.

Beloved K,

You ARE a source of peace and joy to these women dearest K,

Remember, you are like a 'vacuum cleaner'- you pull their misery and pain out of them, and heal them...

But this leaves you drained and stressed as you have mentioned...

I'll give you a short set of practices of about 30 min once you are back home after the day's work- or anytime you feel 'entangled'...

Firstly, make it a practice to come home and have a bath and change ALL your clothes. On the days you cannot, you must wash up fully and wipe dry with a towel that is damp- which then must be rinsed and left to dry in the sun. You should also wash your hair everyday, if possible. (Of course this might not be possible always, but then keep your hair covered in the Halfway house with a silk scarf. Hair catches unnecessary unwanted energies.) Then you must chant/pray for about 10 min (This you can even do before- while coming back home in your car or transport.) Slow Om chanting, with a gap of about 1 min between each Om, is quite beneficial but must be done aloud- not mentally chanted- and could be done very softly, just audible to you...

Once you have completed this, you could eat a fruit if you are hungry, and then meditate for 10-15 min quietly.

You’ll feel all the stress and negativity that you caught, 'vaporizing', just as bubbles come out of a soda can when it is opened...

You can continue to visualize this for a while, before relaxing and letting go totally...

After you meditate, you could lie down for 10 min, get up and eat a full meal, and then you could get back to your daily chores...

I am sure that in a few days you would find a positive change and you'll be able to cope much better with the work at the Halfway House. When you are at peace with yourself, it will certainly help the women you are working with, to find peace and happiness...

Most of the time troubled people simply need a patient and understanding ear and compassionate hug to feel loved and accepted...

Don't you think so?!

Love and Blessings,

Omkaradatta's picture

Thanks, Deepam...

"Most of the time troubled people simply need a patient and understanding ear and compassionate hug to feel loved and accepted...

Don't you think so?!"

Thanks, Deepam... yes, I think that's true. Unfortunately, the trouble will probably recur again later, needing yet more attention :-p.

I invite you to something from Nisargadatta, taken from "I Am That":

Questioner: Yet you cannot help another much.

Maharaj: Surely, I can help. You too can help. Everybody can help. But the suffering is all the time recreated. Man alone can destroy in himself the roots of pain.

P.S. I didn't mean to disrupt the thread, only to speak as usual from my dedication to the Truth. From here, a compassionate hug is always a 'good thing'.


Omkaradatta | Sat, 02/07/2009 - 06:28
anony17's picture

:-) Catching a Falling Star...

You know Omkar, whenever someone has seen it fit to come to me for comfort, I have only been able to share silence...

When I have seen people in pain, people who are not able to cope with their suffering- Terminally ill cancer patients, People who have lost children or parents, dying elders and infirm people, children who feel they have failed their parents, suicidal teens, frustrated addicts, murderers, teachers who have lost faith in their teachings, people with no hope- I have sat with them, and held their hand. I have sat in silence and shared their pain. There is nothing to tell someone in pain except that I am there with them, to share and to care for them...

All words of wisdom fail there...

People will do what they will do- they will continue to go back and indulge in the same things. They will hurt themselves, they will harm themselves. Their choices and desires are too 'inertial'...

Until someone chooses to move in the direction of freedom on their own, no one can do anything to catalyze their awakening experience...

Thus the great sages chose to remain amused bystanders full of compassion- but not 'interfering' in the karmic process of the people at all. They simply spoke a word here and there- dropping hints, which the ones who were 'ready' would seize instantly...

I believe, just like the saying that everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame once in this life, everyone also gets an opportunity to awaken in this life- maybe a lot more times...

But then, it is the rare one, who is 'ripened' enough to 'catch the falling star and put it in their pocket...'

For the others, a gentle nudge in the right direction is all that the wise can give through compassionate understanding of their ignorance of their real nature. For their resultant bondage leads them into false understanding of real and unreal- causing them untold pain, suffering and misery.

At such times, all they need is someone to be there for them- someone in whose embrace they can feel completely secure and at ease. Someone who holds them until they have stopped hurting, and who loves them more than they love themselves... until they fall in love with their true self...

And when that happens, nothing else will matter... But until then, everything does... and compassionate understanding soothes the pain until that happens...

Love and Blessings,

anony17 | Sat, 02/07/2009 - 17:34
Omkaradatta's picture

The only thing...

> Until someone chooses to move in the direction of freedom
> on their own, no one can do anything to catalyze their
> awakening experience...

Nobody is really making any choices, things are just happening choicelessly. Nobody is in control, nobody is at the steering wheel of life. Neither the sage chooses to invite people back to the Self, nor the people choose to take the invitation. Life is not subject to the dictates of a "me".

But yes, "another" can only invite. Offer pointers that are either looked at, or aren't.

P.S. there's certainly nothing wrong with sharing compassion and understanding, as we discussed in a private message, nothing wrong with comforting folks. This sort of 'patchwork' is not for everyone, though. There's always someone to put a new bandage on, and to help put one on you. This is the human condition, and it's OK, albeit repetitive and never-ending.

Omkaradatta | Sat, 02/07/2009 - 18:49
Phroggy's picture


Everybody has their own notions of what is appropriate or best or 'useful' in a given situation, which is perfect, and my notion is that I can't know. I know that the truth is the only thing that works. How do I know who is ready to hear what, when? How do I know that the deepest point of despair is not the exact opportunity of which you speak? How do I know that the one seeking relief and comfort is not also more open to alternatives than they have ever been because of that suffering? I can't count the times I've heard someone say 'I was lost and hurting and confused and my friend said something to me that changed everything.'

Since I don't know, I figure the best thing to do is get the 'hell' out of the way (meaning 'me') and let whatever happens, happen. If what is needed is comforting, that will happen. If what is needed is words, then that will happen.

If I'm deciding what needs to happen, I figure I'm not here to help them, they're here to help me. Come empty, and leave the 'helping' to God. This applies to EVERY encounter.

Phroggy | Sat, 02/07/2009 - 20:17
Omkaradatta's picture


There's no fixed, set way to approach life. Moment by moment life is happening, now -- it is situational. Every moment appears out of nowhere and disappears again into nowhere, never to reappear. The "me" (with its beliefs about the best way to handle things) only interferes with the impersonal functioning of life.

Omkaradatta | Sat, 02/07/2009 - 20:33
Phroggy's picture


"The "me" (with its beliefs about the best way to handle things) only interferes with the impersonal functioning of life."

That's it, and that word "impersonal" terrifies a lot of persons and they want to make it very personal, but there's just one thing happening here and there's the opportunity to get out of the way and let it happen.

Phroggy | Sat, 02/07/2009 - 21:07
divine intervention's picture

Beautiful advice

This is a beautiful advice and seems as much more effective, sensitive, human and warm than introducing cold logic and analysis or theory-based advices which usually are very limited in effect.

I liked the combination of pray, meditation, physical cleaning (that are good for draining accumulated energies) and above all compassionate love.

I think this combination is true spirituality.

divine intervention | Sat, 02/07/2009 - 20:31
Omkaradatta's picture


How can any advice be 'human and warm'? It seems here only the actual events in the here and now are human/warm, the advice is always just advice -- from here, it's all the same. But perhaps, living in the mind, people take what they can get ('pretty words').

Omkaradatta | Sat, 02/07/2009 - 20:41
anony17's picture

:-) LSD- Laugh, Sing and Dance

Have put up the comment as a separate blog since it was moving away from the main topic here...

anony17 | Mon, 02/09/2009 - 14:34
LeslieTripathy's picture

It was very kind of Yu to

It was very kind of Yu to have specified the process,hope I get to heal the pain alwaz embalmin and envelopin me,wich I guess cant handle.
Thank Yu
Have a Happy 2009
Peace,Love,Health,Riches 4 Yu
Stay Happy,Indomitable
Lesliey Love

LeslieTripathy | Wed, 02/18/2009 - 09:06