The Bigger, Better, Me

MAI's picture

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Hanging on till the nails bleed
Quickly filling in the blanks with a bigger, better, me

Sounds real puuurrrrtttty

Or eternal consciousness
Or soul
Or even god

Like lumping it all together
And now, you're one with everything
This one big thing

Many see through the sense of self
As it bleeds out into the lay of the land
And is nowhere to be found

And there simply are no separate things
To be lumped together
Or apart from each other

Intuited unicity

Its not a "thing"
Or everything
Nor nothing

Oh its blissful, no doubt
Such a relief

It was my own absence that I sought
Unknowingly... unwittingly

The very mind that is me

Yet with no reference points to grasp
It flounders
And gasps

And latches on for dear life
Replacing it with the conceptual handhold

Habba, habba

In a tearing hurry
With now being one with everything

For without the sense of self
There's not even nothing underneath

And left with no feet to stand on... it will not willingly commit hara-kiri... fighting tooth and nail

And quickly dons the big "I" hat

Quite a common misperception

It happened here too
If only for a split second

Bringing me up sharply with a HULLO!!
You weren't even there

Sneaky peaky

The bigger better I

The feeling of having dissolved into an expanse

Of being everything and nothing at all

Both at the same time

Doesn't happen without the burst of the I bubble
There no you nor I, there

And slowly
Even the sense of being-ness bled out

It did feel like at first though as if it was the I that had bled out and coloured the lay of the land

An automatic instant instinctive habitual grasping
Lest it all collapse

Without it
Where the you
And me
And love
And beauty