Anger and Sadness

cpkumar's picture

Average: 3.5 (6 votes)

Ordinarily, anger is not bad. Ordinarily, anger is part of natural life, it comes and goes. But if yourepress it, then it become a problem. Then you go on accumulating it. Then it is not a question of coming and going, it becomes your very being. Then it is not that you are sometimes angry, you remain angry, you remain in rage, and you just wait for somebody to provoke it. Or even a hint of provocation, and you catch fire and you do things for which, later on, you will say "I did it in spite of myself".

Analyze ths expression, "in spite of myself". How can you do anything in spite of yourself ? But the expression is exactly right. Repressed anger becomes a temporary madness. Something happens that is beyond your control. if you could have controlled it you would have, but suddenly it was overflowing. Suddenly it was beyond you, you couldnt do anything, you felt helpless, and it came out. Such a person may not be angry, but he moves and lives in anger.

If you look at ppl... stand by the side of the road and just watch, and you will find two types of ppl. Just go on watching their faces. The whole of humanity is divided into two types of ppl.

One is the sad type, who will look very sad, dragging somehow. Another is the angry type, just bubbling with madness, ready to explode at any excuse.

Anger is active sadness; sadness is inactive anger. They are not two things.

Ordinary Anger is nothing wrong in it. In fact, ppl who can become angry and forget all about it in the next moment are really very good ppl. You will always find them friendly, alive, loving and compassionate. But ppl who are always holding onto their emotions, controlling and controlling (sometimes provoke others), are not good ppl.

There is nothing wrong in a momenttary flare-up of anger, it is beautiful in a way. It simply shows that you are still alive, not dead and you respond to situations and respond authentically.

Depression is a contemporary phenomenon and it has come into being because now there is no tomorrow.

If you are depressed, be depressed, don't do anything. What can you do ? Whatever you do will be done out of depression, so it will create more confusion. You can pray to God, but you will pray so depressingly .... but thats ok !!

So try this :

Whatsoever your state of mind, accept it and wait for when the state changes itself. You are not changing anything, you can feel the beauty that comes when your state of mind changes by itself....

You can knowthat it is just like the sun rising in the morning and then setting in the evening.... the states come and move and go...

Ramli's picture

State of mind....

"Whatsoever your state of mind, accept it and wait for when the state changes itself .You are not changing anything, you can feel the beauty that comes when your state of mind changes by itself."

Its true..Our entire problem is identify ourself with mind which is nothing but steam of separate events happened within ourself..I tried it many times.Its not only used to control our angry,sadness.But give different dimention as well...

Ramli | Sun, 09/20/2009 - 07:23
Quantum's picture

Not easy to do.

It get's messy when I try it.

What do you do when you know you can't accept a current state of mind? Accept that you cannot accept?

And example is if I get angry, I try to accept that I am angry, but actually, I'm thinking, "Dang I hate this, I can't stand being angry, it's sickening. I don't want any of it, it ruins my day." And on top of that, I know I am analying and thinking about it too much.

Do I stand back one more layer and accept that I cannot accept...and allow myself to angry that I am angry, and allow my mind to analyze and think about it too much?

In short, is it okay if I cannot accept it, and allow myself the pleasure of not being able to accept it?

Is that acceptance of WHATEVER is?

Quantum | Sun, 09/20/2009 - 08:37
lilian's picture

Leave aside analysis and speculations

You are too much into analysis and mind. Instead just do it and you will see by yourself that it is resolving and not that difficult.

What to accept? accept whatever there is RIGHT NOE, whatever flows right now in your stream of consciousness, if it is resistance to resistance to resistance - then so be it, if it is self criticism about you not being able to accept then so be it.

Remember that "accept" is actually defined in a negative way: no resistance. Resistance is the normal automatic reaction pattern of your mind towards anything it doesn't like. Be aware of that reaction pattern and just change it.

And be aware that you are too much into analyzing things and speculating. This analysis brings fear and worries and is a trick for not actually trying and doing the technique. Leave the worries and speculations aside.

lilian | Sun, 09/20/2009 - 09:22
Quantum's picture

Accept it all

"...accept...whatever flows right now in your stream of consciousness, if it is resistance to resistance to resistance - then so be it, if it is self criticism about you not being able to accept then so be it."

Hey! That would have to include "thinking and analyzing too much." What you just said about "whatever flows" implies I can accept my incessant habit of thinking and analyzing too much also. I don't need to change it.

Boo Yah!!!! I get it now!

I don't have to change any thing! I can go on "Thinking and analyzing too much" because.......IT"S OKAY!!!!!!

Whoa, feeeeedommmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quantum | Sun, 09/20/2009 - 17:18
Quantum's picture

Contradicted yourself, but that's okay

PS: You contradicted yourself by inially saying "accept whatever" is, and then about 5 lines later you said, "Be aware of that reaction pattern and just change it."

I realize now that this sort or circular, or conflicting information is what makes meditation classes, and spirituality so confusing for me.

But that's okay. I just wanted to point to you your contradiction so you can be aware of it. And then once you are consciously of it, because you were not, then just accept it. Don't try to change. The important thing is that you need to be aware you contradict yourself. Once you are aware you do that, go on, keep doign it. Just know that you are doing it.

The difference between me and a Saint, is that I know I am an ass.


Quantum | Sun, 09/20/2009 - 17:28
anderlaus's picture

She doesn't contradict herself

She doesn't contradict herself. You take things literally and try to put them into generalized systematic thinking model. Too much into mind and analysis. Leave the mind and analysis - this leads to such sorts of confusions and an endless process of the mind presenting endless followup questions. Instead of analyzing things, instead of trying to understand them try to test them in practice. You will see that things in practice sort out.

In short, if an automatic reaction pattern already happened then accept the outcomes. You cannot change it. This does not mean that you shouldn't try to change things which are changeable and mainly your automatic reaction patterns by moving them from the unconscious to the conscious. Acceptance doesn't mean not doing anything. If you can change something change by all means. The very switch from rejection to acceptance is such a change.

anderlaus | Tue, 09/22/2009 - 07:04
Quantum's picture

I accept all that too.

What you said is already summarized it this Serenity Prayer. I just have a poor memory. Oh, and by the way, meditation is making my own dear Catholic Faith more alive and practice-able and real to me. (Except this time I surgically remove and disregard the stuff about "sin", and all that guilt and emotional manipulation ghar-bhage. Now that I can get past all that negative surface stuff, I find that our Catholic Faith is so beautiful. And if I was a Muslim, I would be a Sufi muslim. If I was a Catholic Monk, I would be a Franciscan.) But since I have neither the calling for either, I simply embrace and appreciate how the East simply brought me so much closer to the West. For those who did not have faith, I have found that there is in fact, in my own view, a way to "God" with out faith. The first step is meditation. Meditation is a raft anyone can do, faithful or faithless, it can take one to the same shore, that those who were born in the "Faith" have already been born into.

It get's confusing, when with faith, you get fascinated, by all this eastern mysticism, nothing is nothingness, it is not nothing, but empty, yet not empty, stuff. If if you just keep trying it, you will find, the destination is the same. The destination is eternal and infite. One can progress spiritually as far as they are able or want to.

Here is that serinity prayer. So, I digressed. My inspirations are staring to last past 10:00am, which was the witching hour when they used to wear off. My meditaiton teacher said eventually they will be more frequent and last longer. I better stop writing or I won't stop.

Once is that Serenity Prayer.

Oh by the way...(lol) just kidding. Here it is.

Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Quantum | Tue, 09/22/2009 - 19:23
Quantum's picture

Pax Domini Nostri

Grátia vobis et pax a Deo Patre nostro et
Dómino Iesu Christo.

Quantum | Tue, 09/22/2009 - 19:35
Quantum's picture


Pax Dómini nostri Iesu Christi, et Domini Siddhartha Gautama, sit cum vobis.

(excuse my grammar)

Quantum | Tue, 09/22/2009 - 19:48
Phroggy's picture

Acceptance is not a doing

Acceptance is not a doing but a state of being in which the one failing to accept has not arisen to declare his discontent. The warior is waving neither a sabre nor a white flag, but instead has turned his back and left the battlefield, having lost interest in defending his honor or protecting his kingdom. Whatever happens on the battlefield is neither good nor bad, it's simply no longer of any concern.

Phroggy | Tue, 09/22/2009 - 01:54
Quantum's picture

it's simply no longer of any concern.


You got it.


Quantum | Tue, 09/22/2009 - 05:31
Quantum's picture

moving on to other things

Now that I can move on from that one. THere are other things I have a lingering fascination for. I'll surf this forum to find occasional posts about them. It will be purely for entertainment value...unless something practical comes from it.

One thing I'm still fascinated about is this thing about "Third Eye Meditations." I practice both Third Eye Meditaiton and Inner Body Awareness meditation. A few days ago, I mentioned they feel the same. Actually, I am finding that they seem to feel different. Perhaps I might find some posts from someone who has some real life personal experience with either who might share his experiences. Got any?

Quantum | Tue, 09/22/2009 - 05:38
smeher's picture


the Anger or whatever expression which Human does is natural ,Every one is designed by lord uniquely whatever man delivers ( Karma ) in world is all by wish of Lord .

Anger may be good or not , we cannot comment on it ,lord knows.

Anger will come or not , we cannot comment on it ,lord knows the time .

so one cannot think or work on it. this is natural Process .

Face it as prarabdha .

smeher | Wed, 06/22/2011 - 14:58
lilian's picture

No, don't expect the state to change

Expecting the state to change is a disguised way of not truly accepting. You are using acceptance in order to reject, to make the thing to change. This is the tricky way of the mind, you throw it from the door and it returns from the window.

The revolutionary aspect of true acceptance is that instead of wishing to eradicate the pain, acceptance allows you to live side by side with the pain without suffering, without caring whether it is going to stay here forever or not. When entering to the state of acceptance you find out that the resistance was the cause of suffering, not the pain itself.

When you are in true acceptance, you don't care whether the state changes or not. This is the essence and beauty of acceptance. The objective of adopting a certain reaction behavior changes.

lilian | Sun, 09/20/2009 - 09:31
Ramli's picture

State of mind....

I think we must have clear understanding of how we perceive mind within our true self.

"As the person is a changing stream of mental objects that I as the subject take to be my body-mind, I cannot be a person. I am, but I can't be this or that. "
"Nothing is wrong with you, but the ideas you have of yourself are altogether wrong. It is not you who desires, fears and suffers, it is the person built on the foundation of your body by circumstances and influences. You are not that person."

"The personality (vyakti) is but a product of imagination. The self (vyakta) is the victim of this imagination."

"Yoga is the work of the inner self (vyakta) on the outer self (vyakti). All that the outer does is merely in response to the inner. It [the outer self] has some control over the body and can improve its posture and breathing. Over the mind's thoughts and feelings it has little mastery, for it is itself the mind. It is the inner that can control the outer. The outer will be wise to obey. The inner is the source of inspiration, the outer is moved by memory. The source is untraceable, while all memory begins somewhere. Thus the outer is always determined, while the inner cannot be held in words."

Ramli | Mon, 09/21/2009 - 01:04
Quantum's picture

Thanks for reply


Quantum | Mon, 09/21/2009 - 04:29