Alone

Gilana's picture



Average: 4 (1 vote)

Alone.

So many times I'm fooled that there are others, those who love me, those that don't love me, those that want to be close, those that want to hurt....others, with opinions, with experiences with reasons to act as they act and affect me.

So, now they are all gone. Nobody left. The noise that people make is muffled and not really of much consequence. Holy and mundane...it's fading into a hum of quiet, no matter how loud, or insistent, of no more consequence than the trees rustling in the wind. Noise then music.

It rises then falls, it fills then empties. It is painful then relaxes. It is funny then subsides. Nothing seems to really mean anything later. Things don't really hinge together...anything can happen at any moment. He can love you at night and not remember you in the morning--she can snub you then call crying for help and love. You can be desperate and be giving up, then be discovered the next day. It rises and falls without a reason, without logic, without predisposition. The only thing you can bet on is that if it rises, it will fall. But it doesn't mean anything.

So, right now I understand--there are no others acting upon me. It's an idea that they were there, they are wind, pushing and pulling me--they seem real because I move as a result of the wind, but there is nothing there but air moving. The pain I feel is the pain of the whip of the wind. The sting is shocking when you don't know what it means, but it seems that it's true that it doesn't mean anything. Nothing is there, the pain is wasted, if I concentrate on the excitement of the wind instead of the pain, I will celebrate and be happy.



gentlyok's picture

Just Beautiful!

Just Beautiful!

gentlyok | Wed, 04/14/2010 - 19:56