Spiritual jokes

Zen Humour

MAI's picture

Average: 3.4 (7 votes)

Drink tea and nourish life......
With the first sip......joy
With the second......satisfaction
With the third sip......
Cheese Danish !



For-get-about-iiiit

MAI's picture

Average: 2.8 (9 votes)

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Forget this.....
And attaining enlightenment, will be the least of your problems !



Perfect Peace

MAI's picture

Average: 4.1 (15 votes)

Disciple : Oh wise and all-knowing one, take me to the realm of perfect peace.
Master : If I take YOU to that realm, it will no longer be peaceful.

Zen dialogue
Sacred Space, Life Is Funny
The Times Of India, 24/04/2014



Push or Pull

saravishnusara's picture

Average: 3.4 (11 votes)

"Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull."

~ His Holiness Maitreya Rudrabhayananda ji



Cup

SON OF GOD's picture

Average: 4.2 (11 votes)

Oh boy! Oh boy!" cried the monk-on-probation who had just cracked the Zen Master's favorite (and valuable) drinking cup.
The frightened youngster went to the Zen Master and asked, "Why must there be death?"
The Master answered, "Death is natural. It comes to all persons and things. We should not greet it with fear or meet death with anger. Why do you ask?"
"Because, Master, death has come upon your cup."



PURE ADVAITA - THE SIMPLE GNOSIS - WHAT CHAIR?

Divyaa Kummar's picture

Average: 3.9 (16 votes)

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board:

"Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.

One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words:

"What chair?"

Note: This is a beautiful 'joke' i read somewhere along the way, perhaps via email forwards , it stayed with me as it so brilliantly sums up the inner silence , beyond all words and concepts, that arises within when we truly abide as Self.



LIFE IS TO BE CELEBRATED!

Divyaa Kummar's picture

Average: 4.7 (6 votes)

A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing, "We forgot the "R", we forgot the "R".

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is celebrate."

The word is CELEBRATE, not celibate."

Spiritual message: God is the unmanifest centre of all that is manifest! You cannot reject the physical world without rejecting its very core – spirit. And if you embrace everything around you as the divine choosing to experience Itself- you enter into true worship.. into sacred and joyous living.. into your life’s’ wholesome reason to be! And in this all encompassing devotion- as you hold nothing separate from you... you abide in the joyful gnosis that you only choose what spirit wills to experience through you! You are only the chalice towards divine fulfillment. How can you not overflow with this?



One With Everything

MAI's picture

Average: 4 (12 votes)

A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”.

~~Sangeeta Freeman, on fb group I AM
{jokes via my friend Josephine Joiner in Tamil Nadu }



Eckhart Tolle

andyfromtassie's picture

Average: 3.3 (8 votes)

Eckhart Tolle was running a retreat for a large group of people when out of no where he said to a particular individual in the audience "I know what you are getting for Christmas"

The bemused man looked at Eckhart and said "Look Eckhart, I respect your teachings and you, but we have never met before how could you possible know what I am getting for Christmas?"

Eckhart with a smile turned to the man and says "I felt your presence"



The new Zen Monk

andyfromtassie's picture

Average: 3.8 (11 votes)

A young man decided to become a Zen Monk.
He joined the local monastery to be initiated into the spiritual life.

As part of his training he was told he must live in one room, with one meal a day in complete silence. Every ten years he was allowed out of the room and could say three words.

After the first ten years the man was let out of the room and taken to the Zen Master. The Master asked, do you have anything to say? The man replied "bed too hard." OK said the Master, we will see what we can do.

Ten years later the man was let out of the room again and taken to see the Zen Master. "Do you have anything to say?" asked the Master. The man replied "room too cold." OK said the Master, we will see what we can do.

After another Ten years the man was let out of the room again and the Zen Master asked him if he had anything to say. "Not enough food" replied the man. OK said the Master, we will see what we can do.

After another Ten years the man came out of his room and confronts the Zen Master "Had enough, leaving!"

"Fine" said the Master, "All you do is Bitch anyway!"