Common pitfalls in trying to accept
Trying to accept and observe "what is" is fundamental to spiritual development. Fundamental but not always easy with the mind trying to deceive and sabotage the acceptance. We think we succeeded to accept something and then later we find out that the mind actually played a trick on us and instead of true acceptance, we actually resisted, only this time in a more creative way.
In order to succeed with the art of acceptance, one must be acquainted with the common pitfalls the mind usually sets when we are sincerely trying to accept.
Pitfall no. 1 - Having a tacit motive to eliminate the pain
The motive of the acceptance should NOT be to eliminate the pain, directly or indirectly, by saying for example: if I accept the pain then the pain will lose its energy and will vanish. This might happen but putting such a motive means that the acceptance is not total, that I still resist it, I still try to fight it, this time in a very tricky way...
A true and total acceptance means that I am willing to adopt the possibility, just a possibility, that the pain will remain here forever.
Pitfall no. 2 - Exploiting trust and belief to not totally accept
Sometimes you will find your mind using your trust and belief in trying to accept a pain. Trust and belief are vital and extremely important but in this specific case of trying to achieve a total acceptance, the tricky mind actually exploits your trust and belief in trying to resist the pain by using a "back door". It says "well, I do accept this pain or that pain BECAUSE this is god's will, or I am stopping resisting BECAUSE I believe that it is just a spiritual test, etc." If you look carefully, you will see that the "BECAUSE" is actually sabotaging the totality and purity of the acceptance. A total acceptance cannot rely on some point of view or reasoning, the acceptance can be total, by definition, only if it is acceptance for the sake of acceptance and nothing more. Do maintain your blessed trust and belief by all means but always be sure that they are not used by the mind as considerations involved with your acceptance of a pain.
Pitfall no. 3 - Intermixing between "pain" and "suffer"
Be careful not to intermix between the meanings used of the terms "suffer" and "pain". Note again the difference between them: pain is a feeling, simply the sensing of something as painful (emotionally or physically), suffering is our mental response out of identification with the pain. They may look the same but they are not, you will see it when you stop resisting the pain, the pain is not you, it is there in your body or psyche, the suffering is you, its your chosen response. Grasping the fundamental difference between the two is the basis for understanding and implementing true acceptance.